Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Gorgeous George finds a new home...


Last week I had a contest to find a good home for George Clooney. I was going to narrow down the 5 funniest or most compelling comments and then let Ozzie pick the winner. I had no idea how hard this was actually going to be. You guys really had me laughing...it was the most fun I've ever had reading my comments!
So I had to pick 6 because I couldn't narrow it down any more. Bridget totally cracked me up but she "bowed out gracefully"...then did a song and dance..too funny! Then there were some who got a little "creepy" and "demented" and I started turning on my home security system lol...but I had a great time with this! So without further ado...here are the candidates for Ozzie to pick from...



jill from jill jill bo bill said...
I am the mother of his child. I need to show my son what his real dad looks like. Please for the love of a one night stand. Plus I will get you something in Aruba!!!!

Knowing she gave birth to his kid was very compelling...and lets face it...I'm not above taking bribes!!!!

Kady from Life on Bonnie Lane said: he really does need to come down from the wall above your toilet so that he doesn't have to see your husband's johnson any more.

Kady made me spit laugh. I didn't think of this when I hung him above the toilet. I read this comment to my hubby and he said "Hmmm I'm not sure I want your blogging pals talking about my Johnson" Which made me laugh even harder!

Lilly from Lilly's Life said: complete envy that you had George living with you when I have lusted after him for years after I gave Richard Gere the flick after he started wearing orange robes. I have already mentioned him by name in my blog 4 million and 38 times already!!

I believe someone who mentions anyone's name 4 million and 38 times on their blog deserves massive therapy...but since that isn't the prize here...I figured a picture was the next best thing!

Tammy from Time Flies said: I think I would stick George on the ceiling of my bedroom so I could see him every morning and night. And so my hubby would never want bottom again. (Did I just say that?)

YES TAMMY YOU DID!!! And I must say that I was shocked...but only after I laughed for about 10 minutes straight!


Heather from Nobody but Yourself actually wrote an entire song...and dang it was GOOD! Then she said: If I win, I might just be giddy enough to make a video of myself singing this song and send it to you. Or maybe that’d be better as a threat if I *don’t* win….)
The song was so funny....but this promise of the video....PRICELESS!


And (I don't know her first name so we'll call her Angels Mom ) over at Wheres my angels resorted to some funny good natured name calling..and then said: George has personally told me that all the creepy video's she sends of herself singing that song in the nude, really freak him out! It's one of the reason's he is still single and suffers from PTS.

She is the only person who has ever used the word "skank" on my blog, and her video comment was very funny.


It's time for the Oz man to earn his keep. And lets face it...he doesn't have a wide range of skills. His only talents are being annoying, and pooping. None of which are gonna come in real handy for this contest. But the one thing he can do is EAT. So This is the plan......



Ozzie will eat his choice...whoever gets chomped first is the winner!!!


I have photographed the proceedings to prove that it was all fair and square.

Ozzie sniffs the candidates....



It appears as though he may have made his choice....yes...he's chewing......

AND THEN OUT OF NOWHERE.....Crumpet darts in and grabs somebody!!

And while I'm trying to remove one of you lovely ladies from the Jaws of Death.....Ozzie the little turd snatches up somebody else!!


It's to late to save whom ever this was...they are now simply crumbs of their former selves......


When the fur finally stops flying...this is all that's left..............

However after reviewing the tapes...Crumpet and I are pretty sure that HEATHER


was devoured first. So Heather email me your address....and George is on his way to your house!!!!!


I learned a valuable lesson...never let dogs decide the outcome of anything....but Thanks for participating...we had a blast!

99 comments:

Bo said...

Can it be I'm actually the first commenter??? I feel like I won from just reading the finalists' thoughts & seeing how the judging turned out...the laughter was the best prize of all! Thank you! Bo

Happy To Be said...

Oh Girl I am dying here just looking at the dogs..you doodle head don't you know only one dog should have been let loose to do the drawings..too funny and I am so glad Georgeie found a good home..I am too old for that boy he could't have handle this Hot mama!!Hey I'm old not dead..have a great day girl...hugs and smiles Gloria

Michelle said...

The tears are rolling. That was the best winner pickin' I have ever witnessed! LOL!

tardevil said...

What funny comments. I'm glad you posted them b/c I would have missed them since I already left mine. I hope Jorge has a good new home. I know your husband must be relieved to have his privacy back!
;O) Hope the pups enjoyed the contest.

Diane said...

OMG, you're killing me! You are just the funniest lady! Only you would think of having Ozzie & Crumpet pick a winner You should have known that Crumpet wasn't going to let Ozzie eat more cookies than he could. I'm still chuckling here! :0} Diane

Susie Q said...

I am laughing s hard right now that I have probably awakened everyone in this all too quiet house! (Do NOT ask me wht I am still awake at 2am!)
Congrats to heather...and to all these other deranged candidates! It is not like *I* have ever had a crush on any actor...no, not me...not for 30 years or anything like that...nope.

Love,
Sue

Fifi Flowers said...

Hilarious once again! I love the letting the dogs decide... and great comments from the ladies vying for George... always good to get a good laugh!

French Fancy said...

That was priceless Nikki. They should judge all contests just like that - Miss World, the Oscars, The BAFTAS - just let a chosen dog on the stage at each of these venues and see whose name they eat first.

Monica S said...

HAhahaha! that was so funny with the dogs!!!
Congratulations Heather!

Monica

Pink Ink said...

You should do more contests just so we can see more of your dogs' very democratic way of doing things. Hilarious!

Congrats to Heather and the other winners!

JyLnC said...

I'm surprised any of them were left. Very inventive and fun way to choose a winner. :>)

Southern Lady said...

Ozzie and Crumpet should have a tv show called, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Crumpet." They're adorable and you make their personalities come alive through your stories about them.

You should write a book, Nikki!

Charli and me said...

LOL This is so funny! You made my day. Only you could have thought to write the names on doggy cookies and let the dogs decide. LOL I hope you have a wonderful day!To bad you don't know where George lives. You could send him an e-mail. I think he would really get a kick out of this.

Justine said...

Ooh, this was so much fun to read! Wtg Heather!!!!!!!!!!

Justine :o )

Kristen said...

Congrates to Heather!
Your pups are too cute!

tammy said...

That was hilarious. Letting your dog choose was the best.

Heather said...

What?!?!?!

I...

I...

I...

WOOOOOOOOOOON?!?!?!?!?!?!

WA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*thud*

Whoops, that was just me fainting. Sorry about

*thud*

damn, this prize is going to be bad for my

*thud*

noggin, if the mere thought of it makes me

*thud*

keel over onto the floor!

All right, as soon as I am no longer massively contagious from the norovirus, I will make you the video (complete with guitar accompaniment) and send it to you. While *you* may have been content hanging a picture (MY PICTURE - hey, GET THAT OUTTA YOUR BATHROOM NOW, PLEASE!!) of Gorgeous George in your bathroom, I do not wish to so much as to sing about him from mine.

(Plus, with the funk and the noise and all, I highly doubt I'd be able to get my friends to either videotape me or play guitar for me whilst I resided upon the porcelain throne.....)

Anyhow, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, Ozzie and Crumpet and Nikki, too!

Stay tuned for the video..... :D

Cookie said...

Hahaha! This is so hilarious! I had a very good laugh today!
What a way to pick a winner! Dogs were the judges here, hehe.

Linda said...

OH MY Goodness - LMAO! Too funny- you and those comments. Congrats to the winner. May she enjoy her George lust forever more!

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

You never cease to entertain me. Guess now I'll have to buy another dog so I too can choose winners properly.

Heather said...

Brilliant idea for picking a winner. Brilliant. And funny.

squawmama said...

Congrats Heather (it should have been me who won) and what a great way to choose a winner with those cute little dogs Ozzie and Crumpet(my name wasn't even mentioned or on a BONE!) I am sure he'll be in a good home now ( he'd a been happier here) Well have a GREAT day anyways... Love you Nikki...

(((HUGS)))
Donna

Midwest Mommy said...

Let me just say I love that your dogs picked. Awesome.

sandi said...

I love your blog! I can start my day laughing anytime I want! I just come over here to visit! You are hilarious! I love it!

Raxx - A day in the life said...

Congrats to Heather! This was so much fun!

Picket said...

Oh my word that was funnier than the cow pooping contest they have here in town!!! lol lol I think Crumpet & Ozzie should be the official contest pickers for all bloggers...rent them out girl! lol lol This was fantastic Nikki! lol

Chris said...

My God, you are the funniest person on here, Give somerthing away again, it's too funny reading the comments. I'd like to see in your mind sometime, you're wild.

Love Ya,
Chris

ko said...

2 funny!!!!!!!! The Husband on bottom comment made me CRACK UP TOOOO......I was laughing so hard.....thats a GREAT IDEA THOUGH!!! HAHAH
love ya! I hope Heather enjoys her GOODS......
Luv ya
kyley

Katie @ makingthishome.com said...

What a creative way to pick a winner--I love it! No dogs here. Wonder what would happen with six pieces of pie in front of my husband here in Germany (we can't find pie here unless I make it).
What a funny post; it'll be cracking me up for a little while!
Katie

Smilingsal said...

(*sigh*) That's one less talent your dogs possess!

Rebecca said...

OK, that has got to be THE FUNNIEST was to choose a winner. I am cracking up!

Lynette said...

Congrats to Heather - way to funny Nikki - loved it!!
Lynette

onlymehere said...

I love how you let the dogs choose the winner! I was afraid you'd have to search the world over for two more George's!!

Jan said...

That was perfection Nikki. How hilarious. What fun readers you have. They made me spit milk too. Tammy was hilarious. Your dogs were hilarious too. What a great bone (I accidentally spelled bong instead of bone at first) :) I was going for bone idea. Anyways, have fun and keep them coming and congrats to the one who gets to see George.

KC Mom said...

Your scientific mind is genius. Congrats to the winner of the Johnson watching Clooney!

Anonymous said...

Congrats Heather, can't wait for the video....

Thanks for the ha ha's Nikki

Kathy :)

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

Oh this was TOO funny.
And, er, um, everyone knows George is MY man--doggie picks or no. LOL!

salmagundi said...

Only your dogs could participate in such a fun way! I laughed and laughed knowing the fur was flying. I could envision you saying, "Wait, Wait - don't eat them all!!!!" Sally

AJ said...

Glad to hear George will not be homeless OR have to look at your husband's Johnson anymore;)

Happy To Be said...

Hey girl thanks for coming by for tea today..and WHAT !! you think I live like that girl..paper plates with the matching Solo cups to me is a fine table setting..and if I want real fancy I use paper napkins instead of paper towels..hope you have a great day...hugs and smiles Gloria

joelandbecca said...

Hey that's a good one. Joel and I are always joking that Buster needs to do more to pull his weight around here (all 13 lbs of him) so we say things like "Buster shut the door. Buster will you make us dinner? Buster, get your own water." he never does.

Joel is anti George these days- He is anti all of liberal Hollywood. I will be lucky if he ever lets me see a movie again! Not really, but he does get mad at them all

gingela5 said...

haha I thought about doing the treat thing for my dogs to pick a winner but I knew something like this would happen! haha...CONGRATS Heather!

Donna Marie said...

Nikki,

That was so cute the way Krumpet and Ozzie dove in for the winner. (LOL) You are too funny!

Thanks for the sweet comments on my new "Do".

xxoxoxoxo
Donna

meg said...

OMG-that was hysterical!
Congrats to Heather- look forward to her song popping up on Youtube :-)

Eudea-Mamia said...

Simply. Awesome.

And who says life isn't fair - if that ain't justice, I have no idea what is. Way to go Crumpet and Ozzie.

Heather - try not to lick the picture. Or at least leave the protective sleeve on.

Em

mommaof4wife2r said...

hysterical! i love their comments!

cedwards55 said...

Nikki, that was hilarious! I can't wait to see Heather's video!

beth at aunties said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
amiable amy said...

Hahaha....im rolling on the floor laughing...LOL. You have so many clever ideas Nikki and soooo hilarious this time. Ozzie had no idea .... only to enjoy eating...hahaha.

amy said...

You really lighten my day Nikki. How funny that you take all these set up to pick your winner. I love the moment when you are trying to see who's name was eaten hahaha. Can imagine how fun it is in your house. Good job. Congrats to Heather. Hmmm...wonder if she will also have a contest.hahaha..

Jill said...

Boy o Boy did I try and win that one! I guess I tried to hard!! LOL I didn't even make it into the top 6.

Jill said...

Boy o Boy did I try and win that one! I guess I tried to hard!! LOL I didn't even make it into the top 6.

beth at aunties said...

Way too funny!

The hilarious post, all the comments. My WORD is Georgie ever loved or what!!!!
Funny even more, is if he were to read all this hubbalu about him:) hee hee. lol

But I think it was Ozzie and Crumpet who stole the show! Good Job guys!
And Congrats to Heather! That was an awesome song and I can’t wait to see the video!
You are going to post it aren’t you????

Nikki, You are simply the best:) Keep making our lives better because you are in it!
Beth

Firefly said...

LOL and how good for George LOL

Darlene said...

Oh Nikki,
What a fun contest you had!!!!

The Berry's Patch said...

Couldn't you copy the picture? Those were all funny! I would have picked the lady that promised a gift from Aruba. Bribery always works for me. :-)

dana said...

That couldn't have turned out any funnier! Your little drawing/chomping was the hilite of this gal's day! Congrats to Heather! May she enjoy her "George-fullness Days"! Dana

Shelia said...

Hi Nikkiness, this was fun reading what the finalist said! Now, will you please make that gal sing and dance her song and then you'll post it on your blog, right?
I'll be waiting,
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Auds at Barking Mad said...

OMG that's too funny. I'm going to have to remember that for the next contest I have. Casey LOVES Milkbones (well, so does my toddler for that matter, but we REALLY try to discourage the habit!)and this idea will come in handy! *lol* Of course I'll credit you as the originator!

Congrats to Heather!

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

I so needed this chuckle today. Your poor husband and his johnson. LOL. And women singing naked and one night stands? Oh My! It's like the 12 days of Christmas.
Those silly doggies - they wanted to eat all those women. Hmmm...That just doesn't sound right.

Melissa said...

I haven't laughed that hard in such a long time! Very Fun.

Tristan said...

HAHA...Good idea though...

The Blonde Duck said...

Hooray! George has a new girl and a fab new home! Such a creative way to choose!

Not The Rockefellers said...

That was a very scientific process!
I love your furry ones!!
Sigh...George won't truly be happy cuz he's not with me but, that's democracy folks the blogs and the dogs have spoken.

Peace - Rene

imjacobsmom said...

Nikki, You are too cute! How ever do you come up with them???? Ozzie looks like he was having lots of fun, too. ~ Robyn

Rue said...

LOL Nikki ! You are the funniest broad ever!!!! LOLOLOL

hugs,
rue

Anna Lefler said...

Your judging system has gone to the dogs!

Although, if it's the Heather I think it is...she's going to be doing cartwheels through her neighborhood for a week.

Congrats, Heather!

See what a good sport I am? (Dammit!) Oops - sorry - that slipped out.

XO

Anna

A New England Life said...

Way to be diplomatic Nikki! Let the dogs decide! Fair and square ; )

Congrats Heather! They all were incredible! My fave? Kady's Johnson comment. lol!!!

Sharon

Heather said...

Love the christmas music, I wasn't sure if it was to early to add it or not :)

I have an award for you!

Braja said...

You're right: it should be left to cats to decide...thanks for the laugh :)

Ginger said...

Ahh Nikki, too funny!!! Loved seeing the dogs pick the weiner..I mean winner. Too bad we couldn't have decided the election that way. LOL.
Ginger

Tracey said...

FUNNY!! The comment your hubby made cracked me up!
Congrats to the winner!
Ozzie and Crumpet are cuties as always!

laurie said...

My one dog would have gobbled those up so fast, we would never have known who won. Personally, I think your dogs were kind of polite about it! It was so fun to read all of their comments. You had some great ones to "chew"s from! Congratulations Heather! laurie

Tiffany said...

Okay. You are completely and totally brilliant and hysterical.

I laughed so hard at this entire post.

Glad George is going to a good home!!!

heathersister said...

Oh my. That is so funny! I was pulling for Angels mom because she said skank, and I thought that was great! Sorry G. I was pulling for ya girl. I can't wait to see the video from Heather. I will be watching for it.

Michael said...

Awesome contest...I love it!!!!

TMI said...

The johnson comment is definitely the best. I spit laugh too, and also laughed harder at what your husband said! Soooo funny. =)

Heather said...

I my gosh that is too funny! Where do you come up with this stuff!?! The dogs are hysterical!
-Heather:)

onlymehere said...

The door is always open to you my friend. Frankly, I'm surprised anyone wanted to knock at the door. I accepted all who asked but some haven't accepted the invitation that went out.....maybe second thoughts or just busy. I hope just busy!! If the door is ever accidentally locked I'll hide a key under the mat just for you! Cindy

Life on Bonnie Lane said...

I'm glad that Heather won because she obviously wanted it much more than I did, shamelessly begging and all, lol. I am also looking forward to the video. I'm just honored to have been in the top 6. I know why Ozzie didn't pick me though...I didn't smell like dog butt!

Kady

Bridget said...

Congrats Heather, tell George I'm sorry my song sucked and give him a big smooch from me!

WheresMyAngels said...

Poor George, this is going to set him back so far. I'm not sure therapist could help him now.

Good drugs might get him thru it,and I know where he is going those will be plentiful ;)

bj said...

Well, this was just about the most fun thing, ever!! i laughed so hard at the little doggies eating so fast...i could just see the fur flyin'....Great little post, Nikki...you make us all laugh!!
love, bj

Big Hair Envy said...

"Ozzie sniffs the candidates..." *snort*

Congratulations Heather! I hope George is good to you:)

Sincerely Yours said...

Morning Nikki! It seemed like a good idea to let the dogs pick right???? Next time you'll need to reverse it and see who is left at the end; they win!!!lol Congrats to Heather. Glad you liked my brain book. I need to catch up now so have a great day - Jeannette

sassy stephanie said...

That is SO funny! The best way to choose by far!

Thanks for sharing in my SITS day with me!

Straight to Your Hart said...

Man...give a dog a bone and they will be all over it!! Hubby is the same way...LOL!

Yay for the winner..

Natalie said...

LOL!

I did a spit take right along with you...and just when I thought it was safe for another sip of diet coke: another. My nose is killing me.

I actually enjoyed this method of drawing names! It was so exciting!

LillyB said...

Thank you for the laugh...I think I hurt myself but man this was funny!

Charli and me said...

Hi Nikki,
You have been tagged! Come over to my place to find out the details :>)

Scooterblu's Whimsy~Rhonda said...

Hi Nikki, That was pretty doggone funny! Hilarious comments! Congrats to your winner! ...and the runner-ups! :) ~RHonda

bj said...

Oh, Nikki...I have 2 weeks of postings scheduled so I won't be blogless !!

Jeanne said...

Nikki, thanks for your comment today. I hope I never have to write this much again even if I did have fun. I just scrolled down and read your meme. You did a great job. lots of humor as usual. Today the George thing was hysterical girl. I agree with your pick, not that it matters. Smile. Heather will love getting George.

Congrats on your awards. You are so deserving of your awards. You ar a big hit for a good reason. Your blog is the 'bomb'.

Hugs...Jeanne

Kathi~Lavender, Lace and Thyme said...

Congratulations Heather you lucky duck! Nikki, you crack me up! I would have to use my cats and that would be a bit messy, they would only go crazy after canned cat fuud or a birdie! :)

Marrdy said...

What a cute way to pick George's winner! Love those doggies!

Deb said...

NikiCrumpet! Where did you come from? LOL!!! You are so %##* funny you should be getting paid!! This was truly hilarious! Deb

Laurie - Decorating Fanatic said...

haaaa! That was so funny! I was wondering how you were going to let Ozzie pick the winner! :) You are so creative!!

Mama said...

Oh my Gosh Nikki I somehow missed this post Dang it!!, I really wanted Georgie here with me, congrats to Heather grrrrr, Ozzie and Crumpet are the funniest things on eight legs ROFL................ Kathy

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