WHAT LURKS IN THE PURSE.....

So I went over to Jill Jill bo bill's place to pick up an award....(yeah I'm braggin) And she did a post on revealing your true self by dumping out your purse...for all the world to see....Ya can't take anything out first or clean it up....you have to be honest and just bare it all! After seeing the "otherworldly" contents of Jill's purse...I figured "hey I'll give it a shot" .... I mean sheeesh it can't be worse than hers! (ya really gotta check hers out...it will make you laugh..and frankly...feel good about yourself) I'm kidding Jill! You know I love ya!

So here is my big Purse Reveal...

Notice the awkward bulgy thing happening....no it is not defective....this is what happens when your purse is a size 7 and you cram in a size 24! In people it's called "muffin top"...in purses it's called "zipper AARRRGH"

YOU KNOW THAT FEELING YA GET AFTER A BIG MEAL AND YOU FINALLY GET TO UNDO THE TOP BUTTON ON YOUR JEANS.....that's how my purse feels right now.

First step in this purse journey is to find a LARGE open space to start the dumping process. In this case I also needed to attach the wide angle lens to my camera.

Let us dissect the contents.....check book a must have....check balancing book thingy...What exactly is that for? anyone??? And a handy calculator so that I can figure out how much money I'm saving by spending money on stuff I don't need, but I bought anyway because it was on sale.

Did ya notice the old rotted, decrepit envelope in the upper left corner...pray tell what could be in this relic of a bygone era??? Gift Certificates of course...to fine eateries....notice the date of issue...hmmmm 2006 , 2007....you'd think that since we don't use these lovely free meal tickets it would mean I'm either (A) very thin or (B) an amazing gourmet cook, who likes to whip up fabulous meals at home. No the answer would be (C) I forgot I had the damn things until I dumped out my purse!

So Jeopardy contestants...what is that "almost clear" plastic thingie? I have no idea myself...but I'm thinking if I ever get trapped somewhere with McGuyver he'll be glad I kept it! The saddest part of this is...I put it back in my purse!

Hmmm paint sample swatches from my bathroom re-do....you remember...the one I did last month....the one that's finished. I guess I can toss this...dang my purse feels lighter already!


This would go a very long way to explain why I keep showing up places on the wrong day. I just noticed that my calendar/planner is from 2006 !!!! And all this time I thought people were so RUDE to be missing our appointments!
That green yawning thing would be my version of a wallet. Not very efficient I'll admit...is it gaping open because it's filled with SO much cash? ....too many credit cards?......

Nope....seriously this is what was in there !

And some of it had previously escaped!


And just in case some of you are thinking about stealing my coin collection......I have MACE! SO BACK OFF! Oh and check out that professional tape measure...it's the little yellow round thing...it stretches clear to three feet! Builder Bob has nothing on me.


And while we're on the subject of purses....meet my new obsession....Karen Wilson handbags.....oh just look at them.....don't drool on them I said "look". Aren't they a thing of beauty.......*SIGH* Somebody here in blogland introduced me to these little scrumptious nuggets just a few weeks ago. I can't remember who it was...but don't admit to it...my hubby is going to hunt you down and make you rue the day you got me purse lusting! .....edit: I have been informed it was Carolynn from "a glowing ember" who got me started NEEDING one of these...so if you too get emotionally attached to one of these...BLAME HER!

And thanks a ton Jill for the award! I'm glad I found your blog. My tummy muscles are actually getting stronger just from all the laughing I do when I read your stuff. You're better than crunches any day!