Thursday, October 23, 2008

Massachusetts: Oh how I love thee.....sorta

Suzanne who has one of my new favorite blogs over at "Lavender and Roses" Recently tagged me with a challenge to name 5 things to love about my State. I'm gonna preface this post with this....I am a Utah girl born and raised...I miss home with a beastly passion. I've only been in Massachusetts for about 7 years. So I'll give this a go....but I'm not sure this is such a good idea....and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna offend a few of the natives.

STATE MOTTO: BE IT MAN, WOMAN, OR SHEEP....IF YOU CAN STUFF IT IN A WEDDING DRESS....YOU CAN LEGALLY MARRY IT!



STATE NICKNAME: FORMERLY THE BAY STATE......NOW CHANGED TO:
DUNKIN DONUTS R-US

I'm not kidding....there is a Dunkin Donuts on every single corner in this entire state. You'd think they'd all be a bunch of fatties...but it seems to be just me!




All right...I'm forced to admit it. Massachusetts is the most gorgeous place on the planet in the fall......







AND ANOTHER VERY GOOD THING: In 1891 James Naismith invented basketball. YAY JAMES! I do love me some Basketball.


Sadly though...I am a traitor to my current state.......GOOO UTAH JAZZ



NOW ON TO THE FUN STUFF (HEHEHE)

The state of Massachusetts has developed it's own unique language.
Here are the rules to speak proper "chusetts"...

If it ends with an "A" it ends with an "R" ...examples:


Idear--------a thought or notion


Santer Clause-----a jolly old elf


Brar-------------used to hold up your boobs


Atlanter------a city in Georgia



And if it ends with an "R" it ends with an "A"....examples:


Cah------an automobile


Baa haa Baa-----a city in Maine (Bar harbor....that one needs translation)


Yad----the lawn where your kids play (wait that word doesn't end with an "r" oh well I don't care...it's funny anyway.


Drivah----the guy behind the steering wheel of your "cah"





The Mayor of our illustrious State Capitol would be one Thomas Menino....lovingly referred to as "Mumbles Menino"
....If you don't believe me...just ask WIKIPEDIA...they say

"Mayor Menino is known for his distinctive voice and malapropisms....citing the following: He called L.S.D. the greatest president we ever had. When talking about parking issues..."It's like an Alcatraz around my neck"....referred to someone as a "man of great statue".....and told the press "when you're elected, people elect you".

You gotta love a place that re-elects a man like this! And DON'T even get me started on the Kennedy's.



And finally....6 toed cats are so common in Boston and the surrounding parts of Massachusetts, that experts consider it an "established mutation"....hmmmm.....

Maybe that should be the new state motto...Massachusetts: an established mutation.



I also want to thank Mrs. Demiranda who is a total sweetheart and one of the toughest ladies I know. She is dealing with some amazing obstacles at the moment. Go over to "The road less traveled" and read her love story...it will break your heart. She gave me this lovely award....and I really appreciate it!


109 comments:

Alyson (New England Living) said...

See I'm a native west coaster, but do not miss it like you do. I love New England!

Loved all your points about Massachusetts! In Connecticut they do the same thing with the words ending in a. So weird!

Stephanie Graham said...

I loved you before, but now I love you on a whole new level! I spent 10 years (formitive, at that)of my life on the east coast! I used o live in Rhode Island! I totally get all of the funny things you posted! I am so excited!!! The way the church is out there, you probably know some of the people I used to hang with!!! I don't know why I'm so excited about where you live... but I hope I'm not creeping you out- I am just SO EXCITED!!! Someone who understands the strangeness that is New England- yay!

Smilingsal said...

lol so funny.

Jan said...

Love it all. The pictures the education the verbage the cat. You are all that and a great ladyr or is it blogger or Massaer or Nikkier. Well it was fun hearing all about your state and I am craving donuts and more donuts. And the trees are beautiful. I always envy you Easteners this time of year. I can tell I am getting tired. I am rambling on and on. Good nighter.

Pedaling said...

this post of yours made me hear myself laugh....you are a utah girl at heart even after 7 whole years, there in what seems to be, a foreign country....loved the language and translation....very funny!

Lilly's Life said...

You totally make me laugh out loud - that was incredibly interesting!! Love the music you chose too - love me some Bee Gees. I have never been to Massachusets but I have been to Utah! Thanks for the smile and a bit of education too!

Swirl Girl said...

I am arignally frum Framinham. I went to BU along the Chahles Riva and lived in Meffa afta college.*

translation- I am originally from Framingham. I went to BU along the Charles River and lived in Medford after college.

you nailed to rules!

Mama said...

I have said it before but I will say it again, you crack me up!!. I love your new design too and congrats on your awards, hugs, Kathy.

Fifi Flowers said...

Your are sooo FUNNY... I love your state info! THe accents are GREAT! I'll have a bowl of chowdah... lol
OMG... rotf... my hubby lived in Boston for 4 months for work and my 2 boys and I came to live for a month... and we could not believe all the Dunkin' Donut shops... you are aren't kidding... one on every corner... and I never had one... so I don't even know if they are good or not.
BTW I LOVED BOSTON! I could live there April to September! I'm NOT a could weather girl.

Cheryl said...

I have never been to either place. Stuck in Oregon (which I love) but maybe someday get to travel your way. Love the talk! Do they really talk like that? BTW, my DH says your DH "is the man" on the TV thing. His comment, "how did he go in there with a plan of 42" and come out with a huggggggge TV. He the man!!!!!!!
Men.
Cheryl

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Miss Nikki,
I just knew you would have the best post. You never fail to make me smile. My mom's neighbor is from Boston and when my daughter Caitlyn was llittle (say ages 1 to 6) she spoke like she was from Boston (we have no idea why). I love your translations too. There are some interesting people there in your state too.

Okay, I'm off to see The Road Less Traveled.

OH! and thanks for those sweet little words about me - my you made me blush.

Justine said...

Nikki, this was so fun to read! I love the R and A words! Heeheeheeeeeeeeeeee! Ummm... what's up with the 6-toed cat? LOL

JUstine :o )

Bo said...

Hi Nikki...Yours is my first stop this morning and I'm so happy to start my day here...If anybody from Massachusetts is offended by this hilarious post, then they must be some of those Mass-holes you told us about...LOL
Thanks for your totally coo-coo sense of humor! ;-) Bo

Saucy Scribe Debora said...

First, I love your blog...I've stopping by every day since I I found you on SITs!

Second, being a life-long Long Islander (and just a hop, skip and jump across the LI Sound from you) I was laughing my butt off over my coffee.

I do talk like that too! Although I'm more Brooklyn than anything else, we do the R and A replacement too.

Have a great day! :)

Elizabeth said...

Hey! I didn't know that about the cats!
DD is everywhere because they are a MA-based company. Honey Dew is RI-based.

Linda said...

Too funny my friend - and no offense taken (how can we when it's the truth!) LOL But the one about legally marrying a sheep I don't get? Ohhhhhhhh you mean gay marriages are allowed! I thought you were referring to the sheep and I was thinking 'wait - that is not us, that's the redneck states!" Ha!

And you forgot one other thing. This state may have it's quirks, but it is my-in. (Mine to the the rest of the country!)Oh and you erred slightly about DD - some of them are HoneyDew's!

echoeve said...

I think this post is so funny and whitty.

thanks.

Rebecca said...

I live in this wonderful state too. I am cracking up over Mayor Menino. My husband and I laugh every time we hear him speak.
You hit the nail on the head with D&D! In my town there is one in a gas station and one 1/2 mile away! Amazing!

Sandy Toes said...

MA is truly a wonderful state..beauty it has!! How fun to read all the fun facts!!!

Thanks for sharing!
-Sandy Toes

Becky said...

Girl, you crack me up. You are soooo right about Dunkin Donuts, they are on every corner. I pick up overnghts in MA just to get donuts sometimes and the A's and R's thing. Oh my, it is so true! And in the fall.....WOW...they do have the most beautiful fall trees of anywhere in the US!!! Thanks for the early morning laugh. HA!!!

sheila from life @ #17 said...

good morning, Funny Lady...um, I mean that in a nice way...

So, seriously? DD shops everywhere...I need to call DH & tell him we're movin' northward because 1) DD coffee is divine (fixed in the store...the bagged grocery stuff takes like the rest of the stuff at home...or at our home...where all the coffee tastes like old dirt water)...

and I'm allllll ready because I love fall colour (pratically none here in our part of Georgia) and we have a 6-toed cat named Thomasina...who is so smart it is scaring me some times...

jill jill bo bill said...

DD on every corner? KIDS! PACK YOUR BAGS! WE ARE MOVING IN WITH NIKKI!

Great job! They need to do commercials using this post. Maybe lose the cat. That's creepy.

Sincerely Yours said...

Good Morning Nikki! Now being a NATIVE Massachusetts person born & raised until 45! I have one thing to say to you: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ON! I can also add that they are rude drivers, are in a hurry to get nowhere and not the most responsive people when you speak or smile at them!!! I have gone to great lengths to make sure I live down the Mass stereotype especially the Paaak the Caaa as my Upstate NY family pointed out and made fun of years ago! I am happy Dunkin is spreading down here though and still miss that Fall!!! I have family there but will never move back as I have informed them. Don't get me started on the Kennedy nonsense and Menino I used to mute every time he spoke cuz I was like Whaaat did he say??? Now I'm goin to put my Braar on and go out in the Yaad and mow it!!!lol Still Love You - Sincerely, Jeannette

Raxx - A day in the life said...

Funs stuff about your state!

Penny said...

You would be proud to know that I make Dunkin Donut coffee at home! And now me wants some donuts.

You should write for a living.

Hugs, Penny

Heather said...

that is cat is freakishly cute, very cute post!

Heather said...

that is cat is freakishly cute, very cute post!

Darlene said...

Oh my you have me rolling with laughter again!!! That is sooo funny on the pronunciation of the words!!! I LOVE that kitty and how unique their paws are!!!

Shelia said...

Nikkiness! How funny your are this morning! I just looooove to get more educated! We've been to Bah Hah Bah and it was loverly and ate me up so much lobster I got a belly ache.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

My God, you're a nut! Thanks for making me LOL this morning... six-toed cats and a mumbling mayor. ROFL!!!!! (I still love your state, though!)

Celine said...

LOL! Hilarious! ^^

Eudea-Mamia said...

Yum - Dunkin Donuts. My husband travels to Boston on a regular basis. He swears that DD has the best coffee, hands down.

I could so go for a glazed right about now.

Em

mommaof4wife2r said...

that is so stinking funny...my SIL's wedding was in NH and her momma does the "r" at the end of all her words. so cute!!!

Ally said...

Sooo funny! :o) Those fall pictures are so beautiful, thanks for sharing!

Carolynn said...

Nikki you are truly a priceless gem! I would marry you if you weren't already hitched.

I've always had a desire to go to Cape Cod, although, I confess I never really knew where it was. That's kind of an important detail in getting somewhere. In my defense, I've always been bad at geography and I'm Canadian, so if you want to know where Tuktuyuktuk is, I can tell you. Anyhoo....all that to say, thanks for including the map.

Love the language and your Mayor and your 6 toed cats. Oh, and the basketball arena is way cool!

Deb said...

Hi Nikki! Love your state! LOL!!! You really made it sound like a nice place to visit! I have some relatives there (don't know exactly where though)Ha! I want to say this, if you have any of that beautiful accent, I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR VIDEO!!! LOL!!!! This was hilarious! Deb

big hair envy said...

That was SO funny! I helped chaperone a group of 80 high school kids on their trip to Boston last year. When you have Bostonians and Virginians trying to understand one another, it's NOT PRETTY!!!

salmagundi said...

Loved your interpetation of Mass.!!! BaHaBa speaks to me - that is the way my grandfather spoke. I did enjoy visiting your state last May - even with its quirks and traffic. Sally

Lo said...

You are a RIOT! How ridiculous the mayor and that crack about established mutation! Genius!!!!!

raccoonlover1963 said...

Hi Nikki. The pronunciations reminds me of the Billy Joel song, Brenda and Eddie, or as he says, Brender and Eddie. How annoying!
Lisa

gingela5 said...

Great post--it looks like Mass. would be a great place to go eat donuts and look at trees! Love the six-toed cat!

Kathi~Lavender, Lace and Thyme said...

Hello Nikki,

Massachusetts's looks like a fine state. I've never been there but any state that has fall colors like you have, 6 toed cats and dunkin donuts...rocks! Now, I'm not sure about that mayor.....hmmmm.

A fantastic Thursday to you!
Kathi :)

PS
stop by when you time, I have a little surprise for you in my blog :)

Beverly said...

This is hilarious! I'm going to be laughing about this one for a long time.

Jerri Lynn @ Southern Sassyness said...

What a funny post - thanks for the laugh today!

Bridget said...

Just popping in to say hi. I just got home last night.
I see you did some redecorating while I was away!

It is going to take me a long time to catch up on all of my blog reading but I will try to read all of your posts from last week eventually!

Hugs, Bridget

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Now you make me want to go to Massachussetts even more! I've never been. I want to see all the mutations on my Dunkin' Donuts tours and DANG I can't think because I'm getting so distracted by your Jason Mraz music - i LOVE HIM!!!!!!

Lisa Loo said...

Its been awhile since I did the juice spewing out my nose thing--dang--now I remeber that I was going to put a plastic cover on my keyboard!!

Love the music, the state motto,nickname, the translations but best of all the 6 toesd cat and the fact that MA should be an established mutation!! You are so funny!! And the music--don't get me started on the music!! Okay--I'm started--BURL IVES---and donuts--you are killing me!

I think maybe I like this so much because when I moved to Montana 14 years ago it was still legal to hang someone if they stole your cow. Gotta love these state quirks!! Thanx for the smile!!

Anonymous said...

Right on Nikki, and Menino is an embrrassment huh ??? I don't know why he gets re-elected...I wish you had mentioned the Kennedy's, how you can kill someone, run for President and be re-elected again and again...but hey the state will be all Obama too. I don't really care if gays marry or not that sheep thing is a stretch...having a gay relative they don't choose to be that way I knew from the time we were little she was different, back then they called them Tomboys...anyone that CHOOSES that life would have to be nuts.

Great post thanks for the laugh

Michael said...

Jay's uncle lives in Rhode Island, so we've frequented MA quite a bit. The distinctive dialect is a riot :o)

ParentingPink said...

My hubby's family is all from MA. We visit every summer and I wholeheartedly agree with you- there is a Dunkin Donuts on EVERY corner of every street..EVERYWHERE. What's up with the fine people of MA and their donuts anyway? LOL

Charli and me said...

Hi Nikki, Congratulations on your award! Your post was great. You are so creative. I think you are the greatest!

Chris said...

Oh , you're just soooooooo funny.

Hugs,
Chris

ko said...

6 toes....freaky........really freaky...i agree on the trees...gorgeous.......
also, I decided to distance myself from some people...so i changed my blog address.....i guess click here to get it????
love ya
kyley

Sue said...

you are one wacky lady!! Did you break some sort of Blogger record with your last post getting 110 comments!! Every women loves a good story about a clueless man......keep them coming....Sue.

Amanda in GA said...

Makes me miss my grandmother she was an English teacher and for the most part did not add the R or the A to anything but she never could say my name I was always Amander it never bothered me and I kinda miss hearing her say it.

cedwards55 said...

Nikki, you need your own sitcom! This was definitely a 5 star blog today!

Susie Q said...

We used to visit Mass. a LOT when we were stationed in upstate NY. We LOVED it. Oh how gorgeous it is in the Fall! You no lie-e!! *grin*
Tis true! Tis True! And how can you not love a DD on every corner!!
Whoo Hoo! Just like in Washington State there is a Starbucks on every corner. Now I will be up all night thinking about SB's Pumpkin Spice Lattes and DD cream filled chocolate doughnuts! Egads!

And you my deah, are TOO funny. You always putr a big ol' smle on my chubby little face!

Love,
Sue

The Blonde Duck said...

Love the new look!

Tracey said...

We have those 6 toed kitties in Key West too, they are called Hemingway cats there :)

Ma'dame French said...

Thanks for the tour and congrats on your award;) French

~Becca~Bluebird Rose said...

I've never been to Mass., but I do love me some Dunkin' Donuts! ;)

M.L. @ The House of Whimsy said...

Hi Nikki,

This was a very funny post! My brother lived in Boston for about three years. While in the grocery store one time, he heard the cashier say to the older fellow in front of him, "So Harry, are you goin' to the potty?" My brother thought, what business it is of hers if he's going to the bathroom or not. Of course you can guess...she was talking about "the party." Hee-hee!
Thanks for your visits over to my place. : )
Mary Lou

Carol said...

Oh so funny but right. I'm from RI and think out speach is worse. I once lived in California for a few years. When I first got there no one could understand me. They told me to slow down and laughed out right at most of what I said. When I came back to RI, I could actually hear myself slipping back to the same old speach pattern. And now I'm back completely. My dad was from Maine and when he went back to visit, he was only over that state line for 15 mins. and he had that Maine accent back. Enjoy Mass.it's a lovely state. Carol

Carol said...

Oh so funny but right. I'm from RI and think out speach is worse. I once lived in California for a few years. When I first got there no one could understand me. They told me to slow down and laughed out right at most of what I said. When I came back to RI, I could actually hear myself slipping back to the same old speach pattern. And now I'm back completely. My dad was from Maine and when he went back to visit, he was only over that state line for 15 mins. and he had that Maine accent back. Enjoy Mass.it's a lovely state. Carol

santamaker said...

Hey Nikki,
Good grief, woman...you're gonna need to quit your job so you can have time to read all of your comments!
Very funny commentary on the idioms of Mass. You must really love that man to live in his state! LOL...
and hey...quit sneaking around RMS !
I am soooooooooooo hungry for a donut.
be good,
Santa

beth at aunties said...

SO funny!
Now I know why I have a hard time understanding what people are saying, when we are out there!!!! I enjoyed all your lovely tidbits.
Nikki, Utah misses you too! I agree, "Gooo Jazz!"

The Berry's Patch said...

You must have some wacky marriages there. I know lots of things that will fit into a wedding dress.

I would be huge if I had a dunkin donut on every corner. We have a Krispy Kream but have to drive to the next city to buy any. Thankfully!:-)

jeanne said...

Nikki, you are listed as leaving a comment om my post today and it never published. I was having trouble with typepad all morning. sigh. If you said anything of note please come back and leave another comment. And if you left a comment without note come back anyway. lol.

Your post about Mass. is hilarious. You had the perfect dictionary of words. It is so weird. when I was young I dated a guy from there and never forgot the way he talked. Six toed cats??? I have been in the state but never saw anything of 'note' that I can remember. We were just driving through on our way home from Maine.
I agree it has gorgeous color in the fall.

Hugs...Jeanne

Jaime said...

My husband served a spanish speaking mission in boston. We visited just 5 years ago, and I fell in love. I did notice all the strange words, and we giggled plenty of times in the grocery store. It is beautiful in the fall, we were fortunate enough to visit at the right time of year. :)

Life on Bonnie Lane said...

This cracked me up, especially about the "if you can stuff it in a dress you can marry it." Also loved the story about your mayor. I really would love to see Massachusetts in the fall sometime however.

Kady

Sher's Creative Expressions said...

Very cute. I guess God may want to you just bloom wherever you are planted.

Well, at least you have the beautiful fall :)

Blessings,

Sher

april kennedy said...

You know you are going to love a post if it says somewhere in it, "I'm pretty sure I'm gonna offend a few...."! I know I loved it!

imjacobsmom said...

Mmmm. Dunkin Donuts, sounds good to me. Pretty fall leaves and six toed cats, what moh can you ask fah? ~ Robyn

da Bergs said...

HOLY COW! 73 comments???? Will you even noticed I came to visit??? LOL!!! Talk about popular! I am in your home state visiting right now... and MY state, of Cali is having the same uh, lovely idea that anyone or anything can get married! I am praying everyone will get their head on straight and vote YES on prop 8!!! BTW, we are having a National fast on the 3rd for this!

Sue said...

Nikki you never cease to amaze me! Your comment to pedaling fast was sooooooo you! You really think giving huge tax cuts to corporations has helped the middle class with the trickle down effect?? Do you not see what is going on or are you isolated in your own little world up there with your 3 car garage and your huge TV, that is your life and good for you, but for the rest of us there has been NO TRICKLE DOWN!!!!! The republican economics has made the rich richer, there are lost jobs and low wages all over this country, open your eyes!!!! We MUST elect Obama so we all can have a piece of the pie, we all deserve to have good jobs and good wages to live the American dream, not just the top 10% of us!!! SUE

Southern Lady said...

Gotta love it! Only you could come up with something like this, Nikki ... You really should write a book, my friend. You are so talented.

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to visit my Southern Lagniappe. Your sweet comments mean a lot to me.

Sincerely,

Janie

ceekay said...

Hilarious! I can't believe about the cats!! You are so funny!!

Picket said...

Yes mam...that is some mighty fine information on your beautiful state...but I am here from the Tishimingo County Sheriff's office to serve these recall papers to you on those 'Stars' you been selling...you see ol man Silas bought one of those & the other night he was out by the barn gazing up at his...

Well all of a sudden that thing shot off thru the ski like a rocket & plummeted straight towards ol man Silas's farm...took out the new corn silo..scared the milk cow so bad she went dry as a bone and the chickens ain't layed an egg all week...but that ain't the half of it..

His wife, Miss Mamie...has been threatening to leave him for years and he just always told her 'Yea when pigs fly'.....well it seems at the time of all this excitement Silas's prize 900lb hog 'Tiny' was stradling the hog trough looking for one more bite of feed..when that alledged 'star' hit the ground
it tipped the edge of the trough and sent 'Tiny' flying thru the air...Now just at that very moment Miss Mamie had come outside to see what the commotion was all about and looked up and saw 'Tiny' in the light of the full moon flying like Superman on drugs..she threw her hands up in the air and starting dancing and shouting "Thank you Jesus!" and went inside and packed her things!

Now mam...Silas ain't pressing charges..matter of fact he said to thank you personally for that last part and you don't even have to refund him the $2.99 and he's got enough pork to last thru the winter now....but as you can see those stars have a malfunction and we need a full recall! (oh and just so you know..we had to report that @2.99 to the IRS!)

nikkicrumpet said...

Oh Sue...your comment is so like you. Wanting to turn this great country into a Socialist nation. I don't know about you...but I worked damn hard for my 3 car garage and big TV. The American dream would be alive and well for ALL Americans if they would get off their butts and do the same. Standing around waiting for a handout from the country just doesn't seem to do the trick. And yes I really do believe that if we keep Government small and let free enterprise work...this DEMOCRACY could thrive and we could once again be the great Nation we were. It's the "HAND OUT" mentality that is killing us! I'm sorry but I don't agree with your candidates attitude that I should "share my hard earned money" with those who sit on their lazy butts and do NOTHING! Coming from a man..that before he started running for President...GAVE LESS THAN 1% OF HIS HARD EARNED MONEY TO CHARITY! Gee...maybe he should walk the walk before he wants to take money out of MY wallet. HYPOCRISY thy name is LIBERAL DEMOCRAT!

Shannon said...

Fun post! Loved the part about how the locals speak... as a Yankee living in the South, I get asked about my "accent"... and then when we go home (PA and MD), family thinks we sound like a bunch of hillbillies!

Sue said...

Nikki, read my comment again, I do not say you don't deserve what you have worked hard for, I do not say give the poor handouts, I say give us JOBS AND A DECENT WAGE SO WE CAN LIVE THE AMERICAN DREAM TOO! Republican policies don't work for the middleclass, only for the rich, trickledown economics has NOT WORKED!!

J'Ollie Primitives said...

"My butt, my butt" if I lived in MA next door to all those Dunkin Donuts I'd be in serious trouble.

Oh wait I was born there. That explains all the luggage on my backside. DD osmosis much?

When we were kids we'd go to New England every summer to visit. My mom's accent would INSTANTLY change the minute we crossed the MA border.

nikkicrumpet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nikkicrumpet said...

But Sue...they do work for the middle class. I AM THE MIDDLE CLASS TOO!!! It's working for me! It worked when Reagan was president...It can work beautifully if all the handout and income redistribution policies were abolished! Explain to me why I should have to give up what I worked hard for...so that someone else who doesn't work can have it?? That is what your candidate wants! I'll take Republican policy any day. And can you explain to me please...why you come here? Why visit my blog at all?? You know you'll never change my mind. I won't change yours...so why do we have to have this continued argument? Lets agree to disagree. And call it a day. I hope you have a great one!

Anonymous said...

Nikki,

Amen to you !! This comment is for SUE !!!

Kathy :)





Be sure to read the "where they are now" at the bottom of this message!!




Here is a quick look into 3 former Fannie Mae executives who have brought down Wall Street.



1. Franklin Raines: was a Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Fannie Mae. Raines was forced to retire from his position with Fannie Mae when auditing discovered severe reregulates in Fannie Mae's accounting activities. At the time of his departure The Wall Street Journal noted, " Raines, who long defended the company's accounting despite mounting evidence that it wasn't proper, issued a statement late Tuesday conceding that "mistakes were made" and saying he would assume responsibility as he had earlier promised. News reports indicate the company was under growing pressure from regulators to shake up its management in the wake of findings that the company's books ran afoul of generally accepted accounting principles for four years." Fannie Mae had to reduce its surplus by $9 billion.

Raines left with a "golden parachute valued at $240 Million in benefits. The Government filed suit against Raines when the depth of the accounting scandal became clear. http://housingdoom.com/2006/12/18/fannie-charges/ . The Government noted, "The 101 charges reveal how the individuals improperly manipulated earnings to maximize their bonuses, while knowingly neglecting accounting systems and internal controls, misapplying over twenty accounting principles and misleading the regulator and the public. The Notice explains how they submitted six years of misleading and inaccurate accounting statements and inaccurate capital reports that enabled them to grow Fannie Mae in an unsafe and unsound manner." These charges w! ere made in 2006. The Court ordered Raines to return $50 Million Dollars he received in bonuses based on the miss-stated Fannie Mae profits.

2. Tim Howard: Was the Chief Financial Officer of Fannie Mae. Howard "was a strong internal proponent of using accounting strategies that would ensure a "stable pattern of earnings" at Fannie. In everyday English - he was cooking the books. The Government Investigation determined that, "Chief Financial Officer, Tim Howard, failed to provide adequate oversight to key control and reporting functions within Fannie Mae,"

On June 16, 2006, Rep. Richard Baker, R-La ., asked the Justice Department to investigate his allegations that two former Fannie Mae executives lied to Congress in October 2004 when they denied manipulating the mortgage-finance giant's income statement to achieve management pay bonuses. Investigations by federal regulators and the company's board of directors since concluded that management did manipulate 1998 earnings to trigger bonuses. Raines and Howard resigned under pressure in late 2004.

Howard's Golden Parachute was estimated at $20 Million!


3. Jim Johnson: A former executive at Lehman Brothers and who was later forced from his position as Fannie Mae CEO. A look at the Office of Federal Housing Enterprise Oversight's May 2006 report on mismanagement and corruption inside Fannie Mae, and you'll see some interesting things about Johnson. Investigators found that Fannie Mae had hidden a substantial amount of Johnson's 1998 compensation from the public, reporting that it was between $6 million and $7 million when it fact it was $21 million." Johnson is currently under investigation for taking illegal loans from Countrywide while serving as CEO of Fannie Mae.

Johnson's Golden Parachute was estimated at $28 Million.





WHERE ARE THEY NOW?



1. FRANKLIN RAINES? Raines works for the Obama Campaign as Chief Economic Advisor

2. TIM HOWARD? Howard is also a Chief Economic Advisor to Obama

3. JIM JOHNSON? Johnson hired as a Senior Obama Finance Advisor and was selected to run Obama's Vice Presidential Search Committee


IF OBAMA PLANS ON CLEANING UP THE MESS - HIS ADVISORS HAVE THE EXPERTISE - THEY MADE THE MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE. Would you trust the men who tore Wall Street down to build the New Wall Street ?

joelandbecca said...

I love it! I laughe audibly more than once! As missionaries we used to say "the church is true or there isn't a dunkin donuts on every other corner in MA" and since there still is, looks like the church is still true! I was spanish speaking, but can still muster up a few phrases of dialogue to get people laughing, and they never believe that people really talk that way there.
And the fall picture melts my heart! Love it!

Michelle said...

I have a friend who is from Mass. and we are always having to ask her to translate Mass. talk back into english. One time we were walking and she said she needed to find a bubbler........a what?

Girl you are in California now and like the rest of american we call those drinking or water fountains. :)

christie said...

Go Utah Jazz! I'm in CA and am a Jazz fan!
I love the established mutation.

Pedaling said...

i shouldn't be, but i am laughing.
i had to come back over and read what "sue" was up to on your site...
you handle yourself well..and the thought of her coming over here, like that, on a very clever and funny silly humored post...IS so like her.
Sue, girl, start yourself up your own Blog! This is not the place, don't you get it?

Pat@Back Porch Musings said...

Fun post!

Firefly said...

Ready for more awards, well some are waiting for you at my blog :)

The Fishers said...

I can completely relate to the language! I also moved from Utah to the East Coast. I have called many common items by what I think is the correct name, and then was quickly corrected by the person whom I was talking to. However, I do not think Maryland and Pennsylvania language is as bad as Mass. language!

AngiDe- Nana's Box said...

Hey! I, too, am a Utah girl at heart! What a coincidence! Miss home as well. :(
Love the pics of the Jazz, YAY!

Angie
www.nanasboxnonprofit.blogspot.com

Michele said...

Love the cat! Never seen that before!

Lynette said...

Hope you don't mind, but I quoted you tonight in my new post - its not bad, but accurate, in my opinion!! You'll have to come check it out - see what you think.
Lynette

Rue said...

Hi Nikki :)

I'm staying out of the whole political stuff this go round LOL

You are too funny! I loved this post, since I am one of those people from another state of weirdness otherwise known as California LOL

hugs,
rue

Aleta said...

The State Motto.. oh man, I never should have been drinking Diet Coke when I read that. I'll have to buy a new keyboard. I was expecting all of these lovely things about your state, but instead, you cracked me up! That was great and the 6 toe cat - yeah, that weirded me out!

jeanne said...

Hello Nikki, just a hello today. I think I have to crop the photo of my sister and my niece so it doesn't look so silly. LOL.Have a great weekend.

Hugs...Jeanne

amiable amy said...

whewww....i love the funny stuff you mention....i enjoyed it a lot...and hey, i love the choice of music you have in here

bj said...

Well...I was born, bred and raised in TEXAS and just the THOUGHT of someone calling a C.A.R. a C.A.H. sends shivers down my spine!! :O)
Oh and a 6 toed cat makes me SCARED!!
GOOD post!!
love, bj

Shelia said...

Hi Nikkiness! Are you still bashing your little state? lol
I'd love a doughnut, please!
Be a sweetie
Shelia ;)

Kirstie says..... said...

I was born and raised in Mass and I'm now in CT. I'd say you hit the nail on the head!!

Bridget said...

ROFL, that poor man...an Alcatraz around his neck! No man is an island but I guess you can have one around your neck!
Got any qwaatas in your coin purse?

A New England Life said...

Baa Haa Baa ... I heard you the first time. No need for translation ; )

And let me just say, how you could leave out the part about Massachusetts drivers, I don't know. You do know what they call them in NH, don't you? Mass*****. And the Maine drivers ... Mainiacs! LOL!

Oh gosh Nikki, I might have to post a response to this one on my own blog. If you could only listen to my parents! Both born and raised New Englanders. Sometimes even I can't understand my dad! And my oldest brother .. oh gosh he makes me crazy with his pronunciations. Of course I have an accent too. No matter how I try to escape it I can't. Especially when I'm tired : /

Sharon

Mrs de Miranda said...

hahaha! this was too funny! I loved it! and I completely agree! GOO JAZZZZ! And I miss utah too!! More the summer than the winter...but still miss it none the less

Blicky Kitty said...

I love it! Lots of my neighbors posting here.

I'm laughing all the way to the Dunkin Donuts. We should also mention that the nice thing about that is when if you forget your change, or they get the coffee order wrong you can just pull in 20 feet down the street and find another one.

Flipperdelph said...

Hi !! Very fun post, great to start the week ! I learnt something with the R and A thing. I live in Quebec (but I'm from France) and fall is a great place for the fall season too ! :-0

Auds at Barking Mad! said...

I adore living in New England! And I have to take issue with you on the "Most beautiful place..." mention. Maine has some wicked-awesome scenery too! Just sayin'!

I had to crack up when I read your mention of Mumbles Menino. I totally read that and heard Howie Carr's voice saying it. *lol*

The Nice One said...

Well, I am a Damn Yankee, so I can totally appreciate the funny accents we have up that way (yea, cuz down in Texas they ain't got any). The info on the Gov. was hysterical. I am totally looking up more of that guy's quotes.
Good news for my Wanna Be Fatter Self...Dunkin Donuts is planning on opening 125 stores in Texas over the next few years. Yippee!!

 

Original design by Linda of RS Designs