Monday, October 27, 2008

It's all about perspective.....

If we can take this.....

TO THIS.......



WHY NOT TAKE THIS......


TO SOMETHING BIGGER, BEEFIER, AND MORE MANLY....ARRR ARRR ARRR ARRR!





I am going to bring large, extremely loud, machines into your yard. I will do this very early in the morning......on your day off....when you've been up late blogging.

I will create large clouds of dust......because I know you just dusted your whole house.


I will tear out all access to your back yard. So that you must jump out....like the olympic athelete you WISH you were. Or you will be forced to walk around the house....knowing that walking is the bane of your existence.
I will destroy what little green grass you had left....you know....the few blades that the moles didn't already ruin.

I will dig HUGE mud holes for your clean puppies to roll in, so you will have to bath them every day. And I will dig tunnels under the fence.....so they can escape. Then you will have to chase them down the street...with your old lady breasts going all googly moogly because you didn't have time to put on a bra. This will entertain us and your entire neighborhood...while we watch you shriek your pooches names and try to waddle quickly after them.

And we will take our time doing it.....we begin week two...today.....and we ain't in no hurry to finish.







P.S. Just a heads up....I just found the funniest blog....You gotta go over there if you want a HUGE belly laugh. Make sure to browse the older posts. I was DYING this guy is so funny. So go see Bill libbey....and then come back and thank me !

128 comments:

Darlene said...

LOL!!! Oh my you are hilarious!! Soooooo what is getting built?????? I know keep us in suspense until it is there!!

You GOTTA read Twilight!!!!! Go out and get it NOW! I am your same age and though it was written as a teen series I could NOT put it down!!!

Sandy Toes said...

How fun...you crack me up!!! What is going to happen here???it looks like a big project!!!

Kristen said...

WOW
What is getting built? This is going to be fun to watch (at least from my view)

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Are they digging a hole to China back there? What is up with the giant ditch things???

My three guesses:
Bomb shelter
Underground guest housing for bloggy friends
ummm out of guesses.

sandi said...

I agree with Darlene. The perfect series to take your mind off the hell in your backyard. Start reading NOW!

Chris said...

You write the funniest posts, I love your sense of humor. More peole should have the talent to look at the world as you do.Oh yeah, PLEASEEEE, publish a book. It'll be a best seller.

Love Ya,
Chris

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Hahahaha, good luck! Hope it's over quick for you.

cedwards55 said...

Oh, Poor Nikki! I hope there will be huge payoffs for you at a later date. Remember.... You've gotta go through labor to get a baby and pretty much any other project worth it's weight in gold. Think of it as one huge contraction. Let's just hope the gestation period is less than nine months. How long does it typically take to give birth to a kitchen? Hmmmmm?
Carol

Carolynn said...

Yikes! That's a whole lotta diggin' goin' on. I think it's that whole destroy & conquer thing men have got goin' on. I do like your dog's perspective though!

Smilingsal said...

Lol "gooly woogly" lol. Notice, please that old men have those things floppy when they run down the street sans bra. lol

Linda said...

OMGoodness! No wonder my house was so dusty this weekend - it drifted all the way down here! Wishing you sanity and a lot of patience girl!!

Heather said...

You are so funny! It is true, women and men see things SOOOOOO differently. I'm sure it will look great when it's finished.

Becky said...

You are a scream! Thanks for the belly laugh this morning. Headed over to visit Bill now!!!

big hair envy said...

You'll laugh about this NEXT SUMMER when you're lounging by your pool, enjoying your new whatever-it-is-going-to-be:)

We are getting ready to enclose our garage. It gives me a headache just thinking about the noise and mess! I have made a note to be sure to wear a bra at all times - just in case of an animal escape!!

Bill said...

Thanks for the linky love Nikki. I'm pleased to meet you too (any friend of Dana's! I'm going to email you with an idea, watch for it :>. You're one funny lady!

beth at aunties said...

Oh funny, but exciting. It looks like a new pool to me??? How fun! I get a kick out of the 'sweet dogs,'man brain' & then your funny 'she brain comments'. Laughed so hard & loved the your old lady breasts going all googly moogly? You are still a babe in the woods so strike the OLD out! (I loved the trees in the back ground, so pretty where you live.) I have experienced many times of running down the street swinging back and fro to grab a run away child or pet. The googly moogly comes with being 'blessed' instead of old, as my DH Bish would say:)
The great Wasatch Mountains look beautiful on this October morning of 70 degrees on this week of Halloween! Can you believe how warm it is?
Good look with the secret project and hope it turns out as beautiful as your patio did.
~Beth

salmagundi said...

You make even the most horrendous experience funny. I would be coming unglued with all of that dirt, mud, and dust in my backyard. I'm not very patient with that kind of thing. I'm off to check out that other blog! Sally

Sincerely Yours said...

Morning Nikki! Sorry I can't go anywhere to laugh more!!! After this post my already cracked face has deeper grooves from your humor!!! The image of an old lady running just hid home way too hard!!! Thanks for making Laundry Monday a happier place to be!!!lol lol lol Sincerely, Jeannette

Jen - Balancing beauty and bedlam said...

How can you do this to us....take us on this journey with you, wait patiently while every picture loads because it won't let me scroll fast enough, and then leave us hanging? You are cruel....cruel!

Midwest Mommy said...

LOL, I am giggling! Seriously the mom boobs jiggling down the street...totally get!

Mariafer said...

Funniest than yours????? I doubt!!!!!
Have a great day
xx
Maria

Beverly said...

Okay, I did go visit, and I'm back to thank you. OMG~!!!

I am so there with you on your perspective. And, ours is the only perspective that is correct. ;-)

Mrs de Miranda said...

haha that guy is funny, but he's got nothing on you!! What are you doing to the back yard?? Are you putting a pool in so we can all come crash and have a party?? haha!

Marrdy said...

Too funny! I do love the part about running after the dogs.

Linda's Blue Gate said...

Ohmygosh..... I have soooo been there with the old woman breast... with no bra.... running after the dogs.... flapping in the breeze...... no... no.... there can NOT be any one funnier than you ....... I will giggle all day after this post....
Linda

Linda's Blue Gate said...

Ohmygosh..... I have soooo been there with the old woman breast... with no bra.... running after the dogs.... flapping in the breeze...... no... no.... there can NOT be any one funnier than you ....... I will giggle all day after this post....
Linda

Heather said...

Oh my stars, girl. Hang in there! It'll all be worth it.

Anonymous said...

You are one funny lady :o)

Tiffany

RMS "caniquit..."

tam said...

Lol! At least you haven't lost your sense of humor! I have had many of those moogly googly runnin down the street after animals and kids experiences too! Someone has to make the neighbors laugh -right? Hang in there kiddo-looking forward to seeing the finished product-whatever it is.
~Tam :)

Michelle said...

LOL! Have I mentioned lately how glad I am that I found your blog? You crack me up!

Eudea-Mamia said...

Hilarious! I'm laughing, but not at the googly moogly part - I totally forgot to add that to my hair post - darn it!

Love your house, by the way!! I so miss that style - it's brick or nothing down here.

And if that's for a pool, tell them to get their booties in gear - don't yous guys usually have snow on the ground by now?! Nothing like digging through permafrost.

Em

P.S. oh - I have to peruse your site more - "I'm Yours" just came on!! Thank you!

Swirl Girl said...

THanks for the monday morning laughs! From your backyard mess to Bill Libbey's - I am starting my day (or continuing it) with a smile on my face!

Sue said...

You are just too funny...you should think about going on the comedy circuit...I'ts nice to start off Monday with a laugh...The patio is great...what is the buy doing now?? And what a mess he's making. Have you ever seen The Money Pit with the famous Sherk Brothers....everything took "two weeks"....

Brenda said...

Thanks for the chuckle! Especially love your dogs' comments!

joelandbecca said...

OK that is a major project! I bet it is going to be amazing! You are hilarious!

nikkicrumpet said...

Ummm people...I already have a pool...it's right in one of the pictures...c'mon keep up! lol. Nah it's nothing really exciting. My hubby has a big hate for concrete...so he is having them tear up the concrete patio and replace it with pavers...like the other patio. All the trenches are just more ways to torture me ...well not really....they are a drainage system so we can get rid of the "indoor pool" in our basement. Everytime it rains the Olympic committee calls and wants to use our basement as a diving venue. Dang now I WISH it was something more fun so as not to disappoint you all.

Kristen said...

You are so funny. You could have really kept us guessing out here in blog land.
The 8 miles about killed me but knowing I had the burger to look forward to kept me going.
The quilt I'm doing is a start to redoing my guest room. I actually got the idea from one of your rooms on RMS (The pretty room). Lynette from Lynette's LAM showed me your room last year. I'll be posting more once I have more of the quilt done.

beth at aunties said...

Okay mud on my face again, I started the pool thing, duh!

Aleta said...

This was PRICELESS! I'm getting strange looks from the pets as I'm laughing out loud. I love it. Man's perspective, Woman's perspective, Dog's perspective.

Ughh, the mess, the dust, the mud - yucko. When I did renovations in the backyard to build a two car garage and create an office area, it was a mess for about a month and I was ready to pull my hair out. Just seeing these pictures gives me that feeling again - no fun.

BUT, I'm sure you'll love the results. That "before" and "after" shot in the backyard is REALLY pretty!

Kate The Great said...

That was a great site... thanks!

Charli and me said...

LOL I was laughing so hard when I read your post. Just the other day I opened the front door and Charli booked. I was with out bra and in PJ bottoms running down the street like an idiot! I hope you will show us the after pictures. Your back yard is so beautiful now that I can't even imagine what else your doing but I know it will look great. I hope you have a great day!

Natalie said...

HAHAHA!!!

googly woogly boobs are funny!

My daughter tells me all the time that it's so cute that I waddle...um...thanks? LOL

Kristen said...

Bill is a trip.
Thanks for the tip

Shelia said...

Nikkiness! You make everything so funny!! I just love that! I always get a giggle and a smile when I come to see you!! Poor little thing, dust and dirt and chopped up back yard. But I know it'll be so gorgeous when it's finished. Now I'm still waiting for the next adventure of those two little fuzzy faces!
Be a sweetie,
Shelia :)

Penny said...

Can't wait to see the new backyard when it's done! tee hee

The Berry's Patch said...

Your boobs googly moogly? Mine go flip flop. :-)

countrygirl3031 said...

Ok...how what's getting built? No fair keeping us in suspense!!!

Hugz,
Michele

gingela5 said...

So funny!! Can't wait to see the end result! I bet the dogs are enjoying all of the smells! :)

ko said...

ohhh my!!!! Oh me oh my!!!!!!! I bet you are hat'n life now, but I cant wait to see how it ends up!!!!!!!

love you

Firefly said...

LOL that was fun...can't wait to see when it's done :)

Susie Q said...

Oh boy do you know how to make me laugh out loud! That last one...can we pee on it...I spewed tea out of my nose!

You have one of the most gorgeous yards and patios I have ever seen!


Love,
sue

Michaela said...

I needed that laugh today!!

I don't know if I overlooked it or not, but many men also walk through the clean house then with their muddy shoes on too :) don't we just love them!!??

Ally said...

How do you come up with this stuff, you are hilarious!

French Fancy said...

Hello, I've come via the black box widget thing and I'm so glad I did because your blog is great. Come and visit me.

Kristens Creations said...

LoL!!! You are very funny!!! You should write a book!

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Okay, I nearly peed myself laughing over the "googly moogly" thing. LOL. Welcome to MY world. I'm usually the dumb broad running around the neighborhood screaming dog names. You kill me!!!

amiable amy said...

hahaha ... i like the dog perspective, Clever! What a marvelous landscaping. You are a natural writer , love the way your brain works. If you suggest a site,i know it must be excellent. I got to know Mariafer from your blog and thanks to you. Watch out Bill Libbey, Nikki's fanatics will be swarming your blog. BTW, thanks for the comment and the visit in my blog.

Bo said...

Nikki...I swear you must have seen my mooglie-googlies( I call them my tig ol' bitties)and my backside a'waddlin' because you described me to a T...How on earth do you ever keep up with all of us and adding more all of the time... I checked Bill Libby out and the picture of the FREE dead cat was a scream... I will be back to see him often. ;-) Bo

Linda said...

OH darn - I had thought of that and I forgot to add it! Thanks for reminding me! LOL

Coco said...

You poor poor lady!

Gill - That British Woman said...

too funny, sorry I know its not funny for you....

Gill in Canada

Stephanie Graham said...

Wow! Look at you! TONS of comments on all your posts now. Don't you just love SITS? It does help that you're brilliant, hilarious and have beautiful pictures of your house to keep 'em coming back for more!

meg said...

I suppose it's all worth it in the end, especially the "no water in the basement" part- but dang! What a mess!

Lisa Loo said...

Whoa--63 comments??!! If you write it--they will be sucked in...

Yours may go google woogle--but at least they don't flap up and hit you in face!! Now there is a mental pic for ya!

Bill is funny--but you are funnier. The free dead cat was pretty funny tho. But your dogs conersation was the best.

Nancy said...

Hey Nikki, I can't wait to see what you have got up your sleeve for that back yard!!! I want to thank you for always taking the time to come by and visit with me, I see your comments on other blogs and I don't know how you do it! You are the best! I do appreciate you! Nancy

jeanne said...

Nikki not another construction site. You are a glutton for punishment. Oh what a terrible mess. Your doggies look confused and so cute standing in that mud. LOL If it turns out as well as the last re-do it will be worth it.

Get the foot bath ready for the fur balls. sigh!!!

Hugs...Jeanne

jeanne said...

Ok Nikki, i visited Bill. He is very entertaining. Thanks...Jeanne

Loving Annie said...

You crack me up ! I like the backyard redo... and the dog perspective :)

M.L. @ The House of Whimsy said...

Oh my goodness...good luck with that!!! I'm sure it will be SO worth it in the end! I went back to find your bathroom re-do and you're right, they have a lot of similarities. I love the bathing suit girls all lined up...so cute.
I also enjoyed looking at past posts of your gorgeous home. It knocked my socks off. SO impressed with all the things you made, like headboards, footboard bench, the black toile stool re-do, the red (old cupboard) chest with plaid cushion... How funny that you also have a yellow and blue room. You can be so proud of all your projects!!! I got lots of ideas from you today. : )
M.L.

Michael said...

Nikki honey, you rock! I just came home from my huge cluster**** of a class tonight and this cracked me up. I needed that :)

Shannon said...

hee hee hee!

LOVE the poochs' perspective!!!

Shelia said...

Nikkiness, you've been Boo-ed! Come to my site and see what you get!
Happy Halloween,
Shelia ;)

Dorkys R. said...

Hahaha, woman you're hilarious!!

"old lady breasts going all googly moogly"

Can't wait to see the finished product :)

Mamarazzi said...

LOVE IT!!

Lo said...

HYSTERICAL!!!!

Nikki said...

Wow! I love your humor! Too funny.

Mc Allen said...

Wow, your seriously awesome!! Love the patio are and can I please have a Gomez?? I love the dogs perspective, hehehe!! Ok, now I'm off to check out the Bill Libby link( I'm so jealous you can link like this, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

AJ said...

As usual you had me laughing out loud! Can't wait to see the finshed product! I have something for you over by my blog:)

WheresMyAngels said...

Holy cow woman, I didn't know people built moats in this day and age!


I am loving his blog. The dead cat post had me rollin!

Scooterblu's Whimsy said...

Girl, Go put a bra on! What will your mother say! LOLOL! I laughed out loud at this post! Hey, imagine going through all this INSIDE your home, the demolition, noise, dust, and escaping dogs, for 3 months and no end in sight!!! Maybe if I run around without my bra, I will scare the contractors and they will speed things along and get my remodel finished! Now there is a thought!!! LOL! Oh well, sorry for the rambling comment...didn't mean to make it all about me! LOL!

Hope your project goes very well...missed you! :) ~Rhonda

Cheryl said...

OK, Ok, I am ROTFLMBO AGAIN LADY. I cannot wait to see the finished results and then.......... I am moving in with you because you are a great decorator inside and out!!!!!! You can expect me as soon as the work is done and you have some chocolate on the table waiting!!!!!
And Crumpet, I will be visiting you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HeeHeeHee

Mc Allen said...

Okay, its official, your awesome!! A huge "Thank you" for the blog helps, I'm off to try now, I'll let you know, or better yet, when I link to you for being the one that helped, you'll know that I was sucessful!!! - Huh, a patio? I seriously wouldnt have ever guessed!! ;0 L A

Life on Bonnie Lane said...

OMG, when I read about the bouncing boobikins, I laughed so hard I about fell off my chair! My son came running over, and when he read your post, he was rollling on the floor laughing right along with me!

Great post! Hope things return to some state of normalcy soon...two weeks minimum, lol.

Kady

Bridget said...

I was going to Boo you but Shelia already got ya!
This was a very funny post! ROFL

Cherry's Jubilee said...

You crack me up lady. REminds me of Tim Allen. Can't wait to see it THE project. YES you must read twilight...they rock. Don't let the vampires/werewolves scare you...it really is a good love story. cherry

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, that's hilarious! I want to live next door to you (except for all the racket you're makin', lady).

AWESOME!

Hope you're doing great and diggin' your new outdoor pad...

XO

Anna

Darlene said...

Hey Nikki,

Stop by my blog....you have been BOO-ed!!! ♥

bj said...

GOOD GRIEF...that sure IS a mess!
Bet it's gonna be great, tho!

Kristen said...

I've been BOO-ED now you have too. Come by my blog and pick up the Halloween Link. Just link it back to me, then go BOO your friends and have them link back to you.

jeanne said...

Nikki, come over it is snowing and I posted a couple of pics. LOL.

Jeanne

Marie said...

A blog funnier than yours? I don't believe it! I can't wait to see what you have going on back there!!

Nancy said...

Hey Nikki, I am coming by to tell you about a fun site I found...I know you like to do fun things with your pictures...and there is some fun things to do here...it is...familylobby.com, you may already know about it, but it was new to me. Hope you enjoy. Nancy

tardevil said...

So when do we get to see the rest?

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Hilarious! I love the part about the breasts all googly woogly.

Shelia said...

Hey, Nikkiness! Chloe Dawn wanted me to tell you, she only licked one side of your cookie and then spit it out! It all yours now!
lol
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Ally said...

Hey Nikki(starts singing to the tune of "hey mickey!")

Come by my blog *wink wink*!

Tiffany said...

This post is so true, and hilarious!

Off to check out Bill...

Tiffany

sheila from life @ #17 said...

DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH SO...makes my stitches hurt....

and RE: global warming...I'll swap you one NE Winter for one 6-month GA Summer...

maybe...I dunno...okay, can't commit to that right this second...

Minxy Mimi said...

HAHAHAHA

LOVE the old lady boobies comment!

Thanks for making me laugh!

Rebeckah said...

Oh my gosh! I have always wanted to leave the 100th comment. This is a GREAT DAY : ). I love your blog name! It totally makes me smile!

Rue said...

Hi Nikki :)

100 comments? .... to think you were worried LOL I knew everyone would love you like I do :)

I hate yard construction! Good luck!!

hugs,
rue

The Blonde Duck said...

What is going on??!?!??!

bloggin' Chrystal said...

I'm headed over to Bill's blog but you've left me wondering what you are up to now. I feel as confused as the pups look in the last photo...LOL!

tardevil said...

You're just a hoot! Thanks for the giggles...

Not The Rockefellers said...

I covet your backyard progress. At least you are out of the "dreaming phase".

I laughed so hard at your googly mooglies that I choked on my tea!

Love your blog and your music is a quite the psychotic afghan.

Peace - Rene

Ma'dame French said...

I am late to the party again! Sonething is wrong with my blog roll it isn't updating as it should~~anyway can't wait to see it finished;) French

april kennedy said...

I'm sure it will be totally worth it when it is done! At least that is what we tell our customers while remodeling their homes!!!

And, I am just going to thank you NOW for sending me over to Bill's even though I haven't been yet...I totally trust your judgement. Heading over now. Thanks!

christie said...

Oh my goodness! I can't wait to see your backyard when it's finished!

christie said...

PS
Thanks for sending me over to Bill Libbey...you're right - he's a hoot!

Kristen said...

I have left you something on my blog. Come by and pick it up!

Picket said...

Good Gosh girl....either you're building Crumpet & Ozzie some super duper underground play tunnels or you have one of the largest outhouse drainage systems I have ever seen!!!! lol lol You just ain't right girl...we have got to get you back on your medication! lol lol I can't wait to see the new patio! Have a great day Nikki!

Twice as Nice said...

I can't wait until the dust settles and we get to see the beauty!!

Jan said...

I am going to be like the dog and pee after reading this post. That is so true and so dang funny Nikki. I can't wait to see the results. I just love good couple renovation stories. It is borderline series of "snapped" to be made. I love your blog.

Kathi~Lavender, Lace and Thyme said...

Oh, sorry it took me so long to post, I've been scrolling and scrolling....I think I'm number 355 or something like that!! LOL! I think I have to go change my panties from laughing so hard at your post....the dust mites will all be worth it in the end and tell the doggies to go where ever they want!

Smiles
Kathi :)

VE said...

Wohoo...114th!!! Hey...jinx. I did a perspectives post too. Well, back on Monday that is...I post every weekday...thanks for stopping by the blog too!

Pedaling said...

now that's one way to look at the opportunity....make it into a very interesting and funny blog post.

oh and i checked out the bill libbey blog and it is so cool!

eve cleveland said...

Girl!
You are way too normal to hang out at my trailer and I can see you already got plenty of friends. But I did want to pop by and say we are pleased as punch to have you at HB!
Eve

squawmama said...

Nikki my dear... Look at you go to town...116 comments I have never had that much... you FUN wizzard of the blogworld... I hope I don't get lost in here... LOL LOL It must take you forever to reply...LOL again... This was again another great comical post and I LOVED it!!! What are you guys building???

Love Ya,
(((HUGS)))
Donna

Auds at Barking Mad said...

This is brilliant! Too funny.

And your dogs? They've got it right! Well, according to my dog anyhow!

Firefly said...

Just checking how is everything going :) :) can't wait for the update :)

Aleta said...

Soooo.. any updates with pictures on the renovations??

Ma'dame French said...

Are you kidding me he had to be stomped and crushed a time or two but he's a keeper now~~lol French;)

Mrs. B said...

LOL! You are always so funny. Can't wait to see when it's all done! And I was going to "Boo" you but I see someone beat me to it!

Shelia said...

Hey, Nikkiness! Are you out there in the yard telling those guys what to do? Thanks for the kind words.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia :)

jeanne said...

Nikki, what's happening in the yard? I am looking forward to some progress.

Thanks for your visit and sweet comment om my granddaughter.

Hugs...Jeanne

The Nice One said...

Oh Darlin' that was HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!

Belly laughs...right HERE!

Justine said...

Oh my this was funny. I can't wait to see it finished!

Justine :o )

jill jill bo bill said...

I have this to look forward to? Oh hell!!!! Maybe I don't want a pool and anotr garage. You know I won't be chasing any dogs!!!!!!!!!

 

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