WHY NOT TAKE THIS......
TO SOMETHING BIGGER, BEEFIER, AND MORE MANLY....ARRR ARRR ARRR ARRR!
I am going to bring large, extremely loud, machines into your yard. I will do this very early in the morning......on your day off....when you've been up late blogging.
I will create large clouds of dust......because I know you just dusted your whole house.
I will tear out all access to your back yard. So that you must jump out....like the olympic athelete you WISH you were. Or you will be forced to walk around the house....knowing that walking is the bane of your existence.
I will destroy what little green grass you had left....you know....the few blades that the moles didn't already ruin.
I will dig HUGE mud holes for your clean puppies to roll in, so you will have to bath them every day. And I will dig tunnels under the fence.....so they can escape. Then you will have to chase them down the street...with your old lady breasts going all googly moogly because you didn't have time to put on a bra. This will entertain us and your entire neighborhood...while we watch you shriek your pooches names and try to waddle quickly after them.
And we will take our time doing it.....we begin week two...today.....and we ain't in no hurry to finish.
P.S. Just a heads up....I just found the funniest blog....You gotta go over there if you want a HUGE belly laugh. Make sure to browse the older posts. I was DYING this guy is so funny. So go see Bill libbey....and then come back and thank me !