^^ FUN WITH DUMMIES ^^

It never ceases to amaze me the stupidity of some human beings. I'd like to celebrate their glorious idiocy in a lovely montage of pictures. I shall title .........

HEY LOOK!!! They've posted our IQ scores. (Oh and please observe that she's NOT a blond...thank you very much! )

Well crap...we drove all this way to try and catch a REALLY TALL fish. Now what are we gonna do???

WHEW...I'm so glad they warned me...I was just about to store my kid away until next season....oh honey...get another one of those leaf bags would ya!

Allergy information: contains Peanuts. I'm pretty sure anyone who actually needs this warning ....isn't capable of reading the label.

This one is my all time favorite....Honey...make sure the dog doesn't drive the Pontiac after you give him his meds!!! OH and you probably should take away his beer while you're at it!

*shaking head* I have no words......

I'm pretty sure this is my ex-husband. Although this guy might be a tiny bit smarter.

I heard this is caused by Global Warming.

Even your Fancy GPS isn't gonna help you here.

Which would explain why business was so slow.

Ladder schmadder......

You can thank a lawyer for this.

OH CANADA! (kidding...I'm kidding)

Heck yeah! At least the game will be more fun to watch!

And you know your tax dollars went to pay for this!!!




Well this explains why the painter was standing on buckets...

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY....NOW GO OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING STUPID...I NEED MORE PICTURES!

CHRISTMAS GOES TO THE DOGS.........

*SIGH* Christmas is over for one more year. Turkey leftovers are in the fridge, the garbage can is full of paper and boxes, and now I have to take down all the decorations it took forever to put up. Where are the Christmas Elves when you really need them? I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I sure did.

And is there anything more pathetic than a 48 year old woman wanting an XBOX360 and Guitar Hero III as her present?...........

Why YES there is!!! It's when you can't even play with your present....because the dogs won't let you!

Christmas morning..............

Christmas afternoon................

Christmas evening..........


The day after Christmas..............


The good news is...there is something they let me actually play with! Sammye Jo over at 62cards Picked me as her giveaway winner. You all need to go over and see Sammye Jo and her wonderful Etsy shop!! She is super talented and has giveaways and all sorts of other cool stuff! Check out the loot......


Tags and tags and more tags...and adorable cards that are sooooo well made! And look at this FUZZY BEAR!


A BIG THANKS to you Sammye Jo for your generosity! Everything was beautifully made and a feast for the eyes!


And another HUGE thanks to the sweetest, funniest, and totally crazy wonderful Jill from Jilljillbobill who sent me this sweet card and WICKEDLY COOL ornament...just because she likes me......she really likes me!

Thanks Jill...this baby is going on my dressing table so I can see it everyday!

~♥~ I WISH WEDNESDAY ~♥~

For I wish Wednesday....My wish is that you all have a holiday full of magic.....

laughter.... SMILES........

special moments.....

And free from any tears........
Ozzie brings you Holiday Cheer......




Crumpet sends all his Christmas hugs and Kisses!




And I want to wish you all a heaping helping of JOY, LAUGHTER & LOVE. Thanks for making blogland a place of BLISS for me. I ♥ you all!

DO YA WANT TO PEEK AT MY DRAWERS?

Ever notice that addictions run rampant in blogland? You see these lovely ladies with 12,000 dishes, or the women who just can't say "no" to a chair. Well it's time for me to make a confession....

Inside this drawer is my ultimate shame.....for I am a "MAKEUP JUNKY"

I just can't stop myself...I try...really. But for some reason makeup just calls my name.....It has my number...it knows my soft spot. It SPEAKS to me....too bad it never tells me to organize it.

How do these purveyors of facial glop lure me in?

Part of the problem is I'm drawn to shiny things...yup I love me some sparkle and shine.....so they catch me with mirrors and fancy glittering cases.....

And soft brushes....Lot's of floofie, puffy applicators. They make me feel like an artist..just waiting to create a masterpiece on my face. (generally more Picasso than Rembrandt)


I've noticed the older I get the bigger my collection of "cover ups" gets. It takes larger quantities of this stuff to do the job. I never figured out how that green stuff can cover up my red stuff...but hey I saw it on an ad somewhere...


Then there's the stuff to add a soft glow to my otherwise pallid complexion. It makes me look DEWEY & FRESH. Or like a clown...but they never tell you that part.


Oh look...the Siamese twins of makeup. I'm not even sure what it is...but they always get me if they package it in clever ways! How cool is that! They share a head!


On the rough days I break out the BIG GUNS...if it says "Spackle" you know it's gonna be heavy duty....Notice my eyes seem to need much more Spackle than my lips. The one on the left is the face Spackle...that one I purchase by the case!


And speaking of lips.....Does this look normal to anyone....just how much lipstick is too much...at what point does it say "crazy woman"?


I tend to experiment with mascara....Always looking for that magical brand that will make my lashes look like those babes on TV. So far such "eye perfection" has eluded me. Notice the two on the right side...they come with their own built in mirrors , also notice I didn't even bother to peel off the protective coat on one of them...but why not? This is such a handy thing to have a mirror right there on your mascara...a GENIUS idea no?


NO! Lets not kid ourselves...at my age a mirror like that is totally useless! So I went out and bought a 5X's magnification...woo hoo now I can see my head. Then I got a 10X's magnifier to attach at the bottom....YIKES no one should see themselves that clearly!!!!! I think I prefer denial....

And here are the goodies for the eyes....For a person with only two of them.....this seems a bit extreme.

And then we have what I call....the nublets. Those remains of makeup past...that are now too small to even grip in your fingers...but you keep them.....I guess in case there is ever a makeup famine.


Here are my makeup tools.....WAIT...let me explain! There is a heated eyelash curler (shut up!)tweezers that only get the easy hairs, the second tweezer for the big daddies that fight back!, sharpener, screw driver (oh please don't pretend you don't have one in your makeup kit)....pocket knife (if you can't fix it or cover it up...just cut it off) and that black thing....I've been looking all over for that!




This is such a cool gadget. Looks like a sweet little kitty head right? And it's a KEY CHAIN....but wait....it gets better.


Just slip your fat little fingers into the eyes when you're walking back to your car after a night of partying charity work....


And if you're assaulted...ya POKE THEIR EYES OUT!!! pretty nifty huh? Why is it in my makeup drawer you ask? Because if I poke myself in the eyes before I look in the mirror....I can't see all the sags and wrinkles...it's better that way!

Two questions....what substance are my eyelashes made of that they rip the teeth right out of this comb (opposite the brush side....there was a comb)....and second...why the heck am I keeping this????

Now this is how you tell the difference between a young chick's makeup drawer...and an old Chick's....you count up how many products they own that do the following things: Lift, Repair, Soften, Remove, Decrease, Plump, Firm and Renew. Here is proof that I am VERY old.

At least as a collector I'm not brand snobbish. I have my favorites, but I'm always willing to try the next great thing that will make me look like Heidi Klum instead of Cloris Leachman

And BONUS by exposing my shameful secret...at least it accomplished one thing...my makeup drawer is now organized! (hey...that IS organized!)