Wednesday, April 22, 2009

~♥~ I WISH WEDNESDAY ~♥~

I wish..........................to say thanks to my wonderful friend Lori for spending the week with me. I had a blast! (more on that to come later). And to say I missed you guys while I was gone! I'll be spending the next few days trying to catch up on everything I missed on your blogs. But suffice it to say I had a great time...and am happy to be back!






I wish.....................to never see this face...and then hear the words "Mom I'd like you to meet my fiance".






I wish..................my hubby was this practical. It's very convenient...if you hate the earrings....you can just shoot him!






I wish...........................I could stop giggling over this one.




I wish...................to make it perfectly clear I don't think drug abuse is ever funny......in spite of that last picture....and this one..............







I wish...........................I could have lived in this era.....the world was a better place before we knew about saturated fats.








I wish.......................someone would explain this to me......on second thought...never mind.






I wish..............my Utah Jazz had drafted this guy! I'm getting kind of sick of getting our butts kicked by the Lakers.






I wish.................they wouldn't put up warning signs like this....I mean really...if you're that stupid we should just let you die.







I wish.......................Dr. Phil would STOP POINTING AT ME!!!!







I wish.........................to thank the Fragrant Liar,who as you know , has a totally hilarious blog. She honored me with what has to be the most sought after award in blogland. How can you not covet an award that comes with this description..."These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words". I can honestly say that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thanks woman! You made my day!







I wish..........................to give criminal kudos .....to what has to be the funniest use of spray paint!







I wish.....................to use this as a stellar example of why I think "wading" in the ocean is sufficient.







I wish.......................to make it perfectly clear.....it's not that we're "homophobic"....it's just that some of us don't look good in a bikini!


Thanks for stopping by for another "I wish Wednesday" and may all your wishes be flattering to your body type!

112 comments:

CB said...

FIRST!!!!!

CB said...

HA HA I really wanted to do that on your blog!! Good timing!!

Becky said...

Love the Graffiti sign! That is the BEST EVER!!!!

CB said...

Love the Dr. Phil pointing I am pretty sick of him too! The balcony sign is hilarious!

Glad you had a fun week with your friend!

A New England Life said...

What is this, TMZ? "First!" lol!

I have no idea where you find all these crazy photos but they never cease to amaze me!

Congrats on your award Nikki. I know you'll cherish it always : )

Dr. Phil does tend to point his finger quite a bit. Jeesh I sure did like him when he was on the Oprah show . . . sigh.

roy/elisabeth dean said...

It's been a LONG week!
Congratulations on your award! Awesome!
I'm not sure about the pig-man in the forest either, but I'm pretty certain I wouldn't want to run into the bikini guy! Yikes!
Glad you're back...
♥,Lilly

Kris said...

OMG!! The last guy???????? You could just use phobia behind his name and that would sum it up. Who wouldn't be scared of that??
Love the graffiti sign.

Thanks for posting about my giveaway and for entering. Good LUCK!!

Have a happy day

Kris

Oh' nice to have you back and glad you enjoyed your time with Lori

Anne said...

I am so not homophobic... but THAT is just wrong!!!!

Jen@Balancing Beauty and Bedlam said...

I wish....that I could come up with hilarious blog posts like this, but also...I will just wish to live vicariously through you. :)

Michelle said...

Can't wait to hear about your fun week! I think my favorite this week is the Graffiti sign. Clever clever taggers.

Welcome to the Garden of Egan said...

Ahhhh, another Wednesday is complete now that I've read your I Wish Wednesday!
You are totally outrageously funny!

(psssst, can ya get me the guy in the pink bikini's number.....he/she is hot!) NOT

Sandi @the WhistleStop Cafe said...

Where do you find this stuff?
You are a hoot!

Anonymous said...

Glad you had a good week.

Your blog is a bright spot on Wednesdays. Thanks.

-FringeGirl

Kristina P. said...

Listen, I find crazy pictures, but I don't even know why or how you would even come upon these!

Glad to have you back!

Kat said...

I wish that the sign in my office were true "stupidity should be painful". Now, about the man in the forest, don't you know who that is? "spider pig, spider pig, does everything a spider pig does....."
Kathy

Dixie said...

I wish Dr. Phil would quit pointing at me too!

I wish the guy in the pink bikini would have to judge the Miss USA padgent next year...

I wish you blessings, joy and a happy-happy week!

Dixie

Mid-Atlantic Martha said...

Oh my gosh you're too funny! Where do you find these!

Tootsie said...

it makes me sad that some men look better in a bikini than me! (thankfully not him!lol)
I have been gone...but if I hadn't ...I would have missed the heck out of you!

Unknown said...

Hilarious!!

Jan said...

I love Glenn Beck too :0

This is so funny. That pig in the forest did me in. What a porker. I think he works in WA DC.

Those are some disturbing things. Except for Lard. I agree. We would all be more radiant :)

Lisa Loo said...

My husband said that he deleted that picture of me running through the forest!! He is such a liar!! Man, you can't trust anybody these days.

And the whole drug pics--priceless!! Thanx for sharing! I don't know about anybody else but I'm about ready for an Ozgood and Crumpet post!

jill jill bo bill said...

If I didn't shave/wax I would look just like the guy in the bikini. Except for the weinie.

Ginger said...

Hi Niiki:
I'm glad to hear that you had a great week with your friend visiting. I'm also glad you are back to blogging.
I thought Dr.Phil was pointing at me, not you. And that guy in the bikini...eck. Funny sign about the diamond earrings. What the heck is that first picture? lol.

Life on the Edge said...

Yay! Glad you're back! I loved the stoner pics, especially since I once had a career in the recovery field. The guy in the pink bikini...as scary as some of the men in pink that I've posted in some of my blog posts!

Kady

tammy said...

Finally, I might get diamond earrings!!

And I can't stop giggling at that sign either.

Beth at Aunties said...

I am so glad you got to have fun and catch up with a great friend.
I remember the Lard! Mom made the best donuts and fried chicken and we were slim!
I agree Dr. Phil is truly pointing at ME!
with smiles:)

Laura said...

The funniest Valentine's sign I saw last year was a sign at White Castle that said,"Make your reservations for Valentine's Day". I'd have to kill my husband if he took me to White Castle for Valentine's Day!

Nana said...

Is there something wrong with eating lard?

Glad you had fun.
Glad you are back!

Bridget said...

ROFL, Welcome back, that's some good stuff. I need the Dr Phil pic on my fridge.

Swirl Girl said...

Glad you had a good week!
Once again, thanks for the laughs!

Cynthia said...

Yeah for fun times with friends!

And that shark picture has me totally creeped out!

Fragrant Liar said...

You're welcome and welcome back!

What's with the crazy blue fat pig guy running through the forest? I think he thinks he is alone and no one will see him. Wonder who caught him.

Anonymous said...

OMGawsh! You got the coveted award! I'm so jealous! Well....I guilted somebody into giving it to me!

You know the love affair I have going on with zombies!

*love-struck sigh*

Welcome back GF!!!

♥ Braja said...

YAY!!!!

xxxx

Carolynn Anctil said...

Welcome back! You were missed, too.

What is it about the word "Dude" that makes anything sound funny?

Congratulations on your Zombie Chicken award. That totally rocks!

Frequent Traveler said...

As usual, another amamzingly funny and great Wednesday I wish post ! The shark was perfect - as was the guy in the pink bikini, eek ! Congratulations on the very well-desreved award :)

Mom in High Heels said...

You have made Wednesday my new favorite day of the week. I love coming here and getting a good morning giggle. Thank you so much. I *would* brave a raving pack (shouldn't that be flock?) of zombie chickens just to read your I wish....
And now, I wish...you a lovely day!

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

Nikki,
Those stoner pics are just the funniest and that guy in the pink bikini is just about the grossest thing ever. I will definately keep to wading in the ocean, yap, good enough for me. Thanks for the great laugh, Cindy

Beth said...

You always find the BEST pictures! I have a friend with a jewelry store. I'm going to give him that idea of a free gun.

Glad you had a great week! We missed you!

Beth said...

Oh, and congratulations on your award! Awesome!

Suzann said...

Where do you find this stuff!? Honey, you crack me up! That is one ugly dog though.

Jessica said...

So glad to hear you had a great time with your friend & we're glad to have you back. :)

The pig in the woods is scary~

Hugs~ J.

Aileigh said...

I LOVE these posts! You are too funny! Congrats on the award! I would def fight off zombie chickens to read your blog! :)

Pedaling said...

those warning signs for stupid little souls are the best. this balcony one is great- hadn't seen that one before.

today i lifted the dr. phil "youre fat" poster.

thanks.
oh and the new liar blog new to me anyway- looks like fun!

Justine said...

Okay, so I somehow missed this yesterday, but it did make my Thursday morning brighter!

OMG, where do you FIND this stuff?

I can't wait to hear all about your week with Lori! Hurry up. No slacking! No excuses like, "I have to work. I have to feed my hubby. I have to clean." Nope, none of that!

Justine :o )

Unknown said...

They're all great but my favorite is the sign about the balcony being on ground level, LOL.

Congrats on your award! It's an awesome one, huh??

SmilingSally said...

That balcony sign is probably posted for Spring Breakers in South Florida.

Kathi~Lavender, Lace and Thyme said...

Last night I was talking to Mom on the phone and out of the blue she says...have you been to Nikki's lately? I said no, I haven't been to anyone's blog, sorry. Well, you need to get over there and see the one about the toilet....WHAT? so here I am Nikki! You are the funniest person I read, when time are rough, I come here for a good laugh!

Thanks for who you are!

Hugs,
Kathi :)

Unknown said...

Every week you make my wish come true...for a minute..
that I love myself!!
You got me laughing....off to eat me some lard!

LadyFi said...

Hilarious - as usual! Love the tall basketball guy and my, those scuba divers are in for a shock!

kado! said...

You have to be the most entertaining person ever...I love your humor! You always make me laugh and that is a wonderful thing! Thanks!

Fifi Flowers said...

Good to hear you enjoyed your week... even BETTER to see you back HERE!!! Laughing as usual!!!
ENJOY your day!
Fifi

J. Baxter said...

I too, am happy when I eat lard. So glad to finally be validated.

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

Dude--that was the funniest by far!

The Real Estate Talker said...

Glad your BACK. Missed your funny pictures and sayings. Love this post as well. The first picture is creepppppppie.
The one with the divers, took me a second or two to realize what was behind them, then I was horrified.
Keep em coming
Cheryl

mCat said...

I freakin LOVE your Wednesday's.
By the time I got to this one, it's totally made my Thursday : )

Unknown said...

I'm late, but better late then never especially if it means a big ole belly laugh like I just had! You are an amazing writer, you should have a newspaper column, you have such a unique way of looking at the everyday things in life! Thanks so much for sharing your humor! Sue

H.K. said...

It's safe to say that if you have a beard, mustache, and lots of chest hair, chances are you will not look good in a bikini...in any color.

Welcome back and congratulations on your award!

Michele said...

Oh man...glad you're back Nikki! Missed your posts!

That guy with the fangs is just disgusting...and so is the one in the bikini...ewwww! Thanks for sharing...love these wish Wednesdays!

Hugz,
Michele

Anonymous said...

I think these are the best ever. The graffiti, Dr. Phil and the balcony ones are so great. Hehe.....definately hilarious!

Bargain Decorating with Laurie said...

YIPPPEEEE! NIKKI'S BACK, AND IWW IS BACK!! So glad you enjoyied your visit with your friend, but I missed you! As always, I enjoyed your "I W W" post! laurie

Debilou ~ Mississippi Mama said...

Helloo, i'm pretty new to your blog,, just wanted to say that you always make me laugh.. Thanks !

Sassy said...

Congratulations on your award...you deserve it....I love your Wednesday wish list...

Beverly said...

That's exactly why I burned my pink bikini.

Anonymous said...

Dude I want that pig cape!

Renna said...

A laugh a minute, as always! ;-Þ

Dawn Parsons Smith said...

Oh, how I missed you! Every picture is a but guster! LOL!

Rainy Day Farm said...

Thanks for the laugh. Is that shark one real? I am freaked out even if it isn't real. Jaws generation, what can I say. Glad to have you back, hope you had a great week with your friend!

Grand Pooba said...

Oh gosh, that man's wishes are NOT flattering to his body type! Eek!


Loved the graffit sign LOL!

Grand Pooba said...

Now wait a minute, what do you mean "your" Jazz? Don't you live in Boston?

Kritta22 said...

I 100% agree on the sign one.

It's called chloriding the gene pool!

And the shark one...my mouth dropped open. YIKES!

Kritta22 said...

So glad you are back, BTW!

AND That you had a great time!

Lisa (aka) French said...

I have missed reading your funny Wed posts;) Glad you had a good time! Hugs French;)

Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity said...

I wish I was half as funny as you!! Thanks for the giggles!
Hugs, Terrie

Tootsie said...

two awards....for you....my blog! Saturday's post....GO!
race ya there!

John Deere Mom said...

So glad you're back! Great post. The drug picture had me giggling like crazy!!

Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria said...

I wished I had read you Yesterday...sorry friend late as always...This was just too funny...but the guy in the Pink swim suit wins!! Your are just too funny..May you have a great day dear friend...hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

Jill said...

Hi Nikki
I am glad you had fun with your friend!

That pic of the pit bull is hysterical!
I am off to Justine's for the weekend! Lord HELP ME!

Shawn said...

So many great wishes and so little time!! Heh, heh...

Heather said...

The "fiance" scares the crap out of me!

MJW said...

Agreed to the caution. What the heck with the pig lady. That's just so creepy! Fragrant Liar is on my reader too! Pink bikini guy is priceless! Welcome back!

www.AForestFrolic.typepad.com said...

Oh my...that last one is something else, tee hee! If you hear what's up with the dude in the pig suit, I'm all ears ;-)

Jamie :-)

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

I swear to god I disturb the neighbors when I come here to visit. Sorry...it's true! I need to move out into the wilderness to read blogs like this..LOL..

Decor To Adore said...

I can't read French, but I think the sign says "Will work for wax job." :)

Please stop by and enter my 200th post giveaway.

Linda's Blue Gate said...

Well I am so glad you had fun with your friend..... I know you had lots of laughs..... sadly we were lacking laughs here in blogland without you.....
I agree let them jump.....lol
HUgs
Linda

Anonymous said...

Nikki Nikii! I'm trying to catch up on Wednesday wishes! I think its gonna take longer cuz I can't see with tears in my eyes and trying to keep my legs tight!!!lol lol Thank you!!! You are my absolute FAVORITE NUT!!! Have a fun weekend dear - with you I guess that goes without saying - Fun is your middle name!!! _ Jeannette

Mammatalk said...

I love your I Love Wednedsays! They really help me over hump day!

Mimi Sue said...

Oh my goodness! The guy with the teeth and tatoos. My worst nightmare! I always look forward to your wishing Wednesdays. Where do you get this funny, funny stuff? About the Jazz, can you hear all us Utahns praying way out there in New England? Mimi

Marrdy said...

OK,. I stayed up LATE last night to watch the Jazz barely squeek by the stinking Lakers. At least we won!!

And just so you know...I do feel like a Zombie when you are involved.

jeanne said...

Hooray!!! you are back. I have missed you. I'm so glad you had fun with your best friend. Today's photos are funny and sometimes hysterical. LOVE the pink bikini and the matching beads...on a girl...
I agree bout the drug pics. An empty head is an empty life.

Happy to see you Nikki.

Hugs...Jeanne

Natasha said...

Absolutly LOVE it.. Eveytime I read your blog I laugh out loud uncontroablly!! My neighbors probably think I am nuts
Natasha

Lindsey! said...

So I thought the graffiti sign was totally funny....until this morning!! Some jerk off decided to tag our enterprise truck with there "we are so bad@#$ we spray paint enterprise trucks to prove it" gang symbol so I spent my morning getting high off of some "Oops" paint cleaner scrubbing off poop colored spray paint. If you are going to make a statement about your gang maybe poop colored spray paint isn't the best color choice.

Sweet Caroline said...

Hey...that's my husband in that pink bikini!

Really quick: I saw this today on Craigslist and thought of you: Only YOU could find something funny about this:

http://bellingham.craigslist.org/clt/1137770179.html

Carma Sez said...

A sign in praise of LARD - seriously? Ah, but it's by the Lard Information Council- I should have known!!

Becky said...

I think I need the Dr. Phil sign on my fridge. Maybe it would help me because the tight pants are not. Love the drug signs, takes me back to fighting with my students over the effects of marijuana. Good times.

Laura Marchant said...

So many things wrong with so many of these pictures, lol! The graffiti one really made me giggle!

Unknown said...

WOW over 90 comments on this blog and you have the time to stop by and visit me, I feel honored. I am proud of my volunteering as I know you are of yours. I am just hoping that I didnt sound too rightous or full of my self that is the last thing I wanted to do, but only getting 3 comments so far, I am worried I turned some people off, hope not as that was totally not my intention. Have a great weekend, and again thanks for stopping by! Sue

Jen said...

Another fun and creative post that put a smile on my face and an imprint on my heart! Have a great week.

Shannon said...

Welcome back... you were missed! Glad you had a great week :)

Cole said...

I saw you on Tiney's blogroll and thought I'd drop by and check ya out!

Your post is awesome!!

Phyllis said...

Hey friend! I'm glad you had a nice time but missed your goofy posts!

Susan (Between Naps On The Porch.net) said...

Hilarious, as usual...you never disappoint! :-) Susan

Jane In The Jungle said...

Ok when you do this I never can pick a favorite!! I've been sitting here laughing at all of them but really, pink pig in the forest!!
come by, I'm having a giveaway.

wendy said...

I wouldn't mind a few flattering body type wishes -- I'd want to look like your daughter, the body builder. She could probably kick some A--------
glad you have fun with your friend and once again, great photos
The balcony sign was my favorite

Unknown said...

Hi Nikki,
Great post...have to agree with the Dr. Phil one for sure!

SILVER said...

what a a fun blog. Nikki! great post!

Stacy Uncorked said...

So nice to have you back!! Looking forward to reading all about the fun you had with your friend! ;) Hubby thinks I'm crazy sitting over here laughing at my computer this morning...you never fail to deliver! ;)

annie valentine said...

I wish I could get that last photo in poster size.

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Never stop doing these!!!! I look forward to them so much!!!!

Michael said...

Um, yeah, the bikini is not the least bit flattering. And the shark? That's why I only swim in chlorinated water. Crazy!

Susie Q said...

Your I wish Weds are always such total fun that I giggle aboutthem ALL day!
But now I would like to say that I WISH I looked like your bikini clad daughter...and was as funny as YOU!
There, I said it.
Now I am ginna go visit your daughter's new blog and I KNOW she will be wonderful...a chip off the old block eh?
Love,
Sue

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