Wednesday, April 29, 2009

~♥~ I WISH WEDNESDAY ~♥~

I wish...............................somone had told me this BEFORE my first marriage! And I think they call a man purse a "murse".....or so I'm told.






I wish.........................to use this as the perfect example of why I don't "cycle"......oh and also because I'm waiting for them to put a seat the size of my BUTT onto a bike! I don't wear a thong....I don't choose to RIDE ON ONE EITHER!





I wish............................to point out...that if you have enough curves.....even skimpy attire doesn't look so slutty.......ok maybe a little.







I wish.........................to direct you to a really fun blog...CHICKEN NUGGETS OF WISDOM I LOVE Dipaola momma!....and not only is her blog great fun...but she's having an awesome giveaway for the coolest contraption ever! Go check her out!





I wish......................to get one of these little gems for Mother's Day.....children...are you listening???




I wish...................to point out the ONLY guy in the crowd not concerned about a bat traveling at warp speed. Never mind the guy that got tagged....the scary calm dude is freaking me out!




I wish.............................I had know that Lysol was a feminine hygiene product...DAMN I've been using it wrong all these years!!!





I wish.........................that nobody gets offended by this....but dang it's cracking me up!!!!!





I wish..........................They made ads like this today. I love the soft and gentle treatment of a lady who gets around.....nowadays they'd just call her a skanky ho.





I wish...........................To introduce you to one of my new favorite bloggers Cherie at Bakow Babble. She makes me smile and laugh, and I love how honest she is. This post made me realize her and I would be good friends!





I wish...................................to say AMEN.





I wish..........................HUH?...............are those clogs????






I wish......................All the people who fight for abortion rights would be this honest!





Thanks for coming by for another "I wish Wednesday". And I hope this week all your naughty wishes come true. (except if you're one of my kids!!!)


119 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I wish we were real life BFFs.

Shauna said...

Thanks for the laugh :) ♥ HUGS ♥

Jan the crazy lady said...

That guy in the clogs funny. I think they are those wooden Danish shoes. Fire/wood. what?

Love Cherie. Totally agree....

I have decided against the hot pink bikini after seeing this post :)

ror

Connie said...

Maaaaaan, some of those are downright scary, dudette! Whoooooooooa, that certainly ain't purdy! Excuse me while I go throw up, sugar.......
xoxo,
Connie
Wretchhhhhhhhh........

Gaston Studio said...

These are even better than last time! Will check out your recommended blogger pals!

Mrs. B. Silly said...

Murse? Ewwwww that only works for European dudes!
I'm putting one of those contraptions on my Mother's Day wish list too, I'll race ya!
I know it is not p.c. but the ROR was hysterical!
What's with the dude in the clogs? Scary stuff, he make that speedo ad look a lot better.

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Hey... who stole my clogs??? Bring em back!

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Pedaling said...

ROR--hehe.
and i am diggin' your moms day request!

Amy said...

Never paid that much attention the that first sign. Maybe it's a briefcase? LOL!

Not The Rockefellers said...

Housewife with the smelly crotch could have gotten that from indifferent husband who was fooling around with "everyone's pal"! :)

Lysoltini's around the house!

Peace - Rene

Midwest Mommy said...

Ok, that bike picture, did he live? When we were little my dad always, always wanted to go on family bike riding trips. Well, my mom told him that if she was to go on another one she needed a more comfortable seat so he welded a tractor seat to her bike. Lol, she never complained again.

KC Mom said...

I think I agree with all your wishes!
I want that segway thingy too!
That baby is too darn precious!

Kritta22 said...

Seriously that guys jaw looks broken!!

And I love the ROR!

I think we would be great friends in real life!

MamabearMills said...

Ror is hilarious!

Mom in High Heels said...

ROR! The Lysol ad cracked me up! It seems so...painful.

Shady Creek Lane said...

My sentiments EXACTLY about the thong.
TeeHee!!!!
HaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great Post.

Connie

Alyson (New England Living) said...

You're so funny! I liked your bike/thong comment. Never thought of that, but true!

Melissa said...

ROR is the funniest thing ever and I so want that little t-shirt for my Sissy

Lee Laurie said...

I really needed a laugh so I thought..."I'll go check out...I Wish Wednesday." You did it again! Laughing my head off!

Cherie said...

I am Seriously - NO I mean it- seriously ROR - I cannot stop!!! That is sooooo Runny!!!! I know I will be using that, and am going to drive my kids nuts with it - I can't wait!!
The VD ad - Holy Guacamole did they used to be so polite - That is hysterical.
Imagine my surprise when I saw my own face staring back at me in this post - You are so nice and I WISH or really hope that we get to meet one day because I think you are right we would totally be good friends!
Until then, thanks for the laughs and the great post!

Cherie

Sandy Toes said...

To too much...TOO much showing! That guy with the clogs and speedo near the fire...crazzzzyyy!
sandy toe

jill jill bo bill said...

OMG ROR!!!! Hararious!!!!!!

Kerri said...

I LOVE THE SPEEDO SIGN!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the ROR...

Kathy :)

Becky said...

Bwaah Ha haa! Thank You for the tip! Who knew Lysol would help with those delicate problems:)

The Garden of Egan said...

I agree with you about Bakow! She's awesome.
I have also waited all dang week long to get a I Wish Wednesday. I needed this after my week!
Thanks for not disappointing.
You are awesome.

Frippery said...

Maybe she needed the Lysol because She was everyone's pal, except for the indifferent husband, who probably secretly wears a speedo and clogs.ROR. BTW love your daughters are blogging. My body looks just like your daughter's too, er maybe more like the woman in the pink bikini and mesh. Thanks for all the Raughs.

Loving Annie said...

Happy Wednesday to you, Nikki :)

Cadance said...

totally NOT offended! ROR!

....I ♥ that Seinfeld...with the "man-bag" ya know!?!?

my bike has a BIG-ol' seat on it...ya know the old Schwinn bike ones...Comfy!

thanks for more laughs!

Linda's Blue Gate said...

My wishes came true you had another laugh out load funny post..... Thanks...

I wanted to make sure you have my blog link.... it changed after I updated my Iweb ##&&###

http://web.me.com/lindasbluegate/web.me.com_lindasbluegate/Bluegate_Blog/Bluegate_Blog.html

HUgs
Linda

Quirkyloon said...

LMBO!

My, oh my! You never fail to make me laugh so hard!

I lurve it! Especially the red shoes guy.

"There's no place like home!"

Beth at Aunties said...

I too have enjoyed Bakow Babble and you made me smile again!

Hugs you doll!

Beth~♥

nanny said...

You did it again,,,,laughing out loud!!!! Where do you get this stuff? Love it!

imjacobsmom said...

Oh Gosh< Nikki, you wouldn't catch me on that bike and ROR - funny! ~ Robyn

Marrdy said...

My former brother in law was a speedo man....at about 350 pounds. No wonder my sister divorced him...love the clogs..love you, so so funny!!

H.K. said...

I learn something every day. When there's a fire, wear a helmet to protect your head, strip down to your skivvies to protect your clothes and wear fireproof wooden clogs. I am definitely going to forward this to the emergency preparedness group! (I'm sure they'll never forget me now!)

Ginger said...

ROR your post was so funny this week. Well, they are funny every week, but I really loved it today.
If I rode a bike, it would have to be a bicycle built for two, so my butt could hang over the other seat.

raxx a day in the life said...

omg!! I just clicked on the Lysol ad!! WTH?? Lysol??!!

I cant imagine where you get these photos, so hilarious!!

You make the middle of the work week bearable!

Darlene said...

I am cracking up again over your post and also at the comments. They are so funny too!!!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

ROR! Way too funny as usual! ;)

Southern Lady said...

Hi, Nikki ...

I LOL'd at the ROR thing ... gotta love it!

And, of course, we all love YOU, my friend ... Your wit and wisdom (I'm serious about the wisdom, too) never cease to amaze, entertain, and keep us grounded.

Beth said...

Dang it. It is only Wednesday? This has been the longest week!

While the calm day was creepy, he wasn't nearly as creepy as the clog wearing man. I might have bad dreams now. But at least that would involve some sleep!

Sweet Caroline said...

I want to smoke whatever that calm guy is whiffing.

I also want to be friends with bikini wearing sister. Do you see that confidence? Where does she keep her car keys? Oh, scratch that.

That little car is way cool. No more carpools, no more hitchin a ride, no more screaming kids, no spouse, no friends, no...

Sheesh! I didn't know that my husband would let me sit on his lap if I used Lysol. Who knew? I am wondering if your husband will spray your Lysol for giggles.

I think I am putting that naked autistic man in clogs as my Facebook picture.

And, dang, that baby is really cute. I think I better get the Lysol out...

Cynthia said...

Hi Nikki,
The guy in the clogs is just a hoot and that VD ad is just the ticket. Better than skanky ho, which seems to be all the teen girls name for each other these day! I hope your children are saving there pennies for your mother day present. LOL, Cindy

DiPaola Momma said...

I wish I knew where the hell you find these pictures woman!

I wish to thank you for the shout out.

I wish to also thank you for making both ME and the DH laugh with this post (that's saying something!).

I wish I could buy those clogs at DSW.. maaaaan!

I wish I hadn't listened to you and the 50's personal hygene propaganda advert because now things are burning.. TMI?

tammy said...

I am ROR right now.

And I love Cherie too.

Sassy said...

LMFBO....Too funny! I have seen the adds for Lysol before...maybe that's what should used still on the hoochie mama's that still get around...The ROR is seriously hilarious! The bat "OUCH!" that calm dude is kinda wierd...maybe he is blind! You are soooooooo funny...I enjoy my Wednesday's so much more now...

Lilly said...

Oh dear they are all so hilarious. Where do I start! That VD ad is something else. I love old advertising - it just reminds me how far we have come yet at the same time realising we haven't ocme far enough. that baseball bat in the jaw has got to have hurt and that guy is almost smirking...crazy! Thanks for giving me that great tip on your new product. I am going to go and get it to try.

Twice as Nice said...

Even though I'm not over weight, I wish I loved my body enough to wear that little pink number! Do people look in mirrors anymore?
Thanks for another funny Wednesday.

jori-o said...

Once again, another fabulous I Wish Wednesday...although my jaw is still on the floor from that Lysol ad!!!

tam said...

ROR nough said! LoL!!!
Thanks for making me laugh-I needed that! ~Tam :D

Heather of the EO said...

That guy that doesn't seem to notice the bat flying at the crowd HAS to be drunk. I don't know...no one is THAT laid back! :)

thedomesticfringe said...

Great I Wish Wednesday! The lady in the pink bikini...ew...it's precisely why I don't wear a bikini.

-FringeGirl

Heather @ Sugar N Spice Mostly Nice said...

I think scary calm dude has a beer in his hand so maybe that's freakishly calm...he's blitzed!

Mammatalk said...

Love the thong/bike comment. Great point. Thanks for the laugh.

Grand Pooba said...

Ewwww! No more spedos!

O.G. said...

I definitely Raughed out Roud at this one...thanks

Jessica said...

Just came by for my weekly giggle....and giggle I did. Mister knows when I literally laugh out loud I'm reading your blog! A murse and clogs....eeewww.

Hugs~ J

Auds at Barking Mad said...

I'm baaaaaaaack!

Well kinda. I am still under a mound of remodeling at the Barking Mad Asylum, but I finally have a little more time to catch up with my favs...oh and there's a brand new kitten at the asylum, and he's fond of chasing my fingers across the keyboard which makes for lax blogging/commenting!

I am STILL laughing over ROR. Too freakin funny!

Yaya said...

These are awesome! I totally lol'd at scary calm guy and ROR!

carma said...

Man with red clogs could use a purseket. And I did a double take and just realized that was my doghouse glamour shot pic in your sidebar. You made my day :-)

Life on Bonnie Lane said...

Of all the scary things you shared in this post, I think the scariest of all was the idea of using Lysol as douche. Oh good heavens! Now I know why I don't have a man. My cooz doesn't smell like Lysol. Dang!

Kady

Michelle said...

What cracks me up about the bat picture is the lady using her flimsy food tray as a shield!

Jill said...

THe guy with the clogs needs to throw himself in the fire... lol!

Tristan said...

wow.
As always..ROFL!

Jen said...

Lysol.

That's just so hard to believe...

wendy said...

Now you're talking - wishing for all my NAUGHTY wishes to come true. as usual loved them all --I too an waiting for a bike suitable for my butt. Was he on a suicide mission or WHAT.

BeeHappy said...

Hilarious as always. Favorite one was the guy in the clogs. Friggin hilarious!

Swirl Girl said...

I think they are ruby slippers...Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore!

Anne Fannie said...

I love I wish wednesdays! I can always come here and enjoy a good laugh!
~Ann

Shawn said...

Scary clog man---thanks for the nightmares!

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

Several of those photos remind me of my bosses remarks about a person we saw at a conference one time. "Somebody needs to tell her that just because they make it in her size doesn't mean that she should wear it!"

Rebecca said...

Love it!
You always make me chuckle!

Kathi~Lavender, Lace and Thyme said...

Nikki, you're always good for a laugh! You crack me up!

Have a great day!
Kathi :)

PS
When are you taking your wonderful mother on another trip?

jeanne said...

Good morning Nikki, Thanks for the many smiles and laughs when I visit your Weds. post. I don't know if those are clogs or not...I can't get past what he is wearing or...not wearing. I love the pro-choice baby shirt. The baby is a cutie too.

Have a fun filled day.
Hugs...Jeanne

Justine/Justiney/Tiney said...

Okay, you say your ass is too big for a bike, so how the hell would you fit it in one of those little electric car thingies? I know I couldn't squeeze in there!
ROR! Loved it! PC'ness be damned!

Justine :o )

Smilingsal said...

Um, that curvy pink thing ... where did she buy it? I want to burn the store down!

hellosweetworld said...

The venereal disease one is hilarious! Hehe.....

Joanne said...

So glad I discovered your blog. Too funny. I've added you to my blog roll so I don't miss a thing.

Renna said...

I also hope no one was offended by the ROR poster, as I really did RAFF OUT ROUD! ;-Þ

Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra raaaa! (think Christmas Story)!

Yeah, I'm Still Here... said...

ROTFROR as always with your wishful wednesdays! Thanks for another fantastic one!

(I just had a few funny pics sent to me, if you'd like them let me know.)

Suzi said...

Love the red clogs. There is just something wrong with that man. Great I Wish Wednesday, loved it.

The Blonde Duck said...

Hilarious as always. I just love the speedo one!

Erin said...

I love that little caveat at the end. So funny!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I loved that. Especially the guy in the red clogs. I want a pair now.

Aleta said...

These were great. You surprised me with each picture and I can't pick a favorite one!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

What the hayal is that guy in the clogs doing, and where do you come up with all of this stuff? I know I've asked before, and you're not giving away any of your secrets, but you absolutely amaze me! laurie

John Deere Mom said...

OMG I slammed my head back laughing at ROR and hit my head on the chair!! Thanks for the laugh!

Mimi Sue said...

Well, you've done it again. HILARIOUS!! I wish I hadn't just finished dinner when I saw the pic of the red clog man. Now I'm a little nauseous. Mimi

Fragrant Liar said...

Okay, that guy with the leopard thong and red clogs, waltzing along in front of a burning building . . . Who let him out? I think HE is the origin of Swine flu.

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

You kill me. That curvy chick - OMG! Okay, ROR is very funny.
I just gotta say, what is wrong with people!? I'm not completely complaining because I do get a nice chuckle from these wacky photos.

salmagundi said...

I came for my weekly giggle and was not disappointed. Loved the 'everybody's pal' ad. The advertising industry certainly has changed!! Sally

♥ Braja said...

i WANT that guy in clogs.

lol...just kiddin'...

Wait..I don't drink. Why would i write that??? That guy is SCARY UGLY.

The Blonde Duck said...

I've got an award for you on my blog!

Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...

Hilarious! Love your blog and I will be back!

Higgs Happenin's said...

I love your blog and that (bakowbabble) is my mom!!! She is the bomb times 100. Anyways. Thanks for the laugh.

xinex said...

I always enjoy your entertaining post, Nikki....Christine

Sue said...

Hi Nikki...I missed your humor while I was in Jersey...and your comment on getting a bike seat to fit your butt...I'm starting to out grow my car seat...now that's a problem!!

bj said...

This was a great Wed. post...loved it all...especially the bike-thong-butt comment...:O)

roy/elisabeth dean said...

Man...I'm REALLY late! I'm surprised there is even room for me at this late a date!

The lysol ad killed me! To think, when the directions say "1 capful and swish it around", I just ASSUMED......
Lookout Roy-Boy...I'm about to kill 99.9 % of my germs. I guess we can't call it dirty sex anymore!

g'night Nikki~
♥,Lilly

Kris said...

Nikki, I was ROR while reading your post. OMG what is up with the pink lady and The clog guy wearing a helmet??

I need to find out what the guy at the ballgame has in his cup??? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm We could market this and make a TON of $$$$$$$$ I also like that the one lady used her pizza box to protect her or was she just trying to eat it all before impact?

Have a happy day

Kris

Kris said...

I just noticed the guys hands above the pizza box lady. It looks like he is ready to catch the pizza should it go flying. RMAO

LadyFi said...

Another funny post! Thanks.

wendy said...

ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Email me something as I am trying to email you and I keep getting a Delivery Message error ---so I can't figure what the crapola is going on????????
beazer1812@comcast.net

Simply Donna...... said...

I so love to read your I Wish Wednesday. It's always a good laugh. Thanks for sharing.

Michael said...

LOL...love the pro choice baby...too cute!

Bee and Rose said...

You are the most fabulous gal on the planet! I love coming over here! Always an absolute joy to be hanging out at your bloggy!

joelandbecca said...

I seriously don't know how you come up with this stuff! I am still cringing from the flying bat-oh and the clogs! yikes! fyi-I love your kitchen! I am having kitchen envy! and hating mine-I need to do something before I go crazy. This is what happens when you are stuck at home with a newborn! ha!

AJ said...

You are just too funny woman!! I've missed your sense of humor:)

xinex said...

Glad you stopped by andlike the square plates, Nikki. For this past Wordless Wed, I posted where I store my plates....Christine

Lisa Loo said...

Loved Midwest Mommy's comment of the tractor bicycle seat!

If my choice was between being behind that gigantic spiderweb or introducing my po-po to Lysol--the web would win evertime.

I am beyond intrigued with the wishing you had known about men who carry purses before your first marriage....can you share?


Not only is that guy in a Speedo and helmet and clogs--it looks to me like he is dragging a bat and wearing one of those police issue tear gas masks. Wow--so many questions--so few details....

Charli and me said...

Always a pleasure to read your posts Nikki. They always make me smile and give me a giggle or two.

The Muse said...

Giving you a spring shoutout with hopes (wishes) that your spring days are filled with laughter!

Tulsi said...

When I read your blog I always try to find my favorite. I think "that one", then "that one", then "that one". I would never find these anywhere.

santamaker said...

Nikki, you are too funny!

Our really empty nest said...

Somehow I missed this when it came out on Wednesday, but I have to say you hit it out of the park again! I love your I wish Wednesday posts, they are the best! Sue

Fifi Flowers said...

Sorry I'm sooooo LATE to your laugh party!!! ROR!!!

A Joyful Chaos said...

Loved the list of things! Thanks for the laughs.

Shelia said...

love ya!
Be a sweetie,
Shelia :)

 

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