~♥~ I WISH WEDNESDAY ~♥~

I wish...............................somone had told me this BEFORE my first marriage! And I think they call a man purse a "murse".....or so I'm told.

I wish.........................to use this as the perfect example of why I don't "cycle"......oh and also because I'm waiting for them to put a seat the size of my BUTT onto a bike! I don't wear a thong....I don't choose to RIDE ON ONE EITHER!

I wish............................to point out...that if you have enough curves.....even skimpy attire doesn't look so slutty.......ok maybe a little.

I wish.........................to direct you to a really fun blog...CHICKEN NUGGETS OF WISDOM I LOVE Dipaola momma!....and not only is her blog great fun...but she's having an awesome giveaway for the coolest contraption ever! Go check her out!

I wish......................to get one of these little gems for Mother's Day.....children...are you listening???




I wish...................to point out the ONLY guy in the crowd not concerned about a bat traveling at warp speed. Never mind the guy that got tagged....the scary calm dude is freaking me out!




I wish.............................I had know that Lysol was a feminine hygiene product...DAMN I've been using it wrong all these years!!!





I wish.........................that nobody gets offended by this....but dang it's cracking me up!!!!!

I wish..........................They made ads like this today. I love the soft and gentle treatment of a lady who gets around.....nowadays they'd just call her a skanky ho.





I wish...........................To introduce you to one of my new favorite bloggers Cherie at Bakow Babble. She makes me smile and laugh, and I love how honest she is. This post made me realize her and I would be good friends!

I wish...................................to say AMEN.

I wish..........................HUH?...............are those clogs????

I wish......................All the people who fight for abortion rights would be this honest!

Thanks for coming by for another "I wish Wednesday". And I hope this week all your naughty wishes come true. (except if you're one of my kids!!!)

SPEAKING OF KIDS...............

I'd like to thank you guys for going over to my daughter Lindsey's new blog and welcoming her to blogland. You are the most amazing people! I still get totally blown away by the HUGE HEARTS that can be found here. So THANK YOU....well except for those of you who tried to encourage her to rat out her mother...YOU people I'm keeping a close watch on! :)

Since I'm on the subject of kids....

My other daughter Lacey has decided to expand her Personal Training job. I guess for her it's mixing business with pleasure....she is insane enough to actually love working out. I must have dropped her on her head when she was little.

So any of you ladies who live in the Utah County area and want to look like this............

Can check her out HERE.


And yes.....she takes after her mother.....I have a body EXACTLY like that....I just like to hide mine under massive rolls of fat and dimpled flesh.

~SHOCKED~PROUD~and a wee bit scared.......

I am the proud and lucky mom of 3 amazing kids...and one wonderful daughter in law. And most days I feel blessed.....Some days....I feel just a tiny bit afraid. Today was one of those days.

I get a call from my middle daughter Lindsey, who lives in Texas. She has been visiting my blog for a couple of months now....and seems to enjoy it. But I NEVER expected in a million years that I would ever hear her say....."Mom I have a blog" .

After the shock wore off....I developed a small case of hives. Small being a relative term based on proportion to my body mass. Actually the hives would have covered most of Rhode Island. So with much trepidation I entered the URL and took my first peek at her brand spankin new blog. I encourage my children to develop their talents...really I do....but after watching the hilarious blog wars between Justine & Jill...I'm not sure I want to have all of my secrets revealed by my daughter. I kind of like only telling you guys the stuff I WANT you to know about me.

But alas those days might be over......if this artistic display is any indication....

So with GREAT fear and reluctance....I'd love for you all to hop over to Lindsey's blog....."At least my dog thinks I'm interesting" And tell her "HI" and "Welcome to blogland....now be nice to your mother". She would be thrilled to have the company.

And remember my dear daughter......Mommy knows where you live..........And hiding is NOT an option.

And on the next post I'll show you my other daughters new website.....

~♥~ I WISH WEDNESDAY ~♥~

I wish..........................to say thanks to my wonderful friend Lori for spending the week with me. I had a blast! (more on that to come later). And to say I missed you guys while I was gone! I'll be spending the next few days trying to catch up on everything I missed on your blogs. But suffice it to say I had a great time...and am happy to be back!

I wish.....................to never see this face...and then hear the words "Mom I'd like you to meet my fiance".

I wish..................my hubby was this practical. It's very convenient...if you hate the earrings....you can just shoot him!

I wish...........................I could stop giggling over this one.

I wish...................to make it perfectly clear I don't think drug abuse is ever funny......in spite of that last picture....and this one..............

I wish...........................I could have lived in this era.....the world was a better place before we knew about saturated fats.

I wish.......................someone would explain this to me......on second thought...never mind.

I wish..............my Utah Jazz had drafted this guy! I'm getting kind of sick of getting our butts kicked by the Lakers.

I wish.................they wouldn't put up warning signs like this....I mean really...if you're that stupid we should just let you die.

I wish.......................Dr. Phil would STOP POINTING AT ME!!!!

I wish.........................to thank the Fragrant Liar,who as you know , has a totally hilarious blog. She honored me with what has to be the most sought after award in blogland. How can you not covet an award that comes with this description..."These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words". I can honestly say that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thanks woman! You made my day!

I wish..........................to give criminal kudos .....to what has to be the funniest use of spray paint!

I wish.....................to use this as a stellar example of why I think "wading" in the ocean is sufficient.

I wish.......................to make it perfectly clear.....it's not that we're "homophobic"....it's just that some of us don't look good in a bikini!

Thanks for stopping by for another "I wish Wednesday" and may all your wishes be flattering to your body type!

~♥~ I WISH WEDNESDAY ~♥~

I wish..............................Just to make you laugh with this one. Or is it just me who finds this kind of thing funny?

I wish.....................To say a GIGANTIC thank you to Kristen. She makes the most amazing hand stamped jewelry. I wish this picture did justice to how beautiful my new necklace is! Everything about it is perfection! Thank you Kristen...It is beyond what I dared hope for! Check out her work HERE....I promise you'll fall in love ♥





She wishes.......................the photographer had made sure the coast was clear before snapping the picture!

I wish.......................we came equipped with eyes in the back of our heads.

I wish.............................I'd known about this awesome diet solution years ago......I especially love the part about "no ill effects". Hmmmm other than the fact that you have WORMS LIVING IN YOUR BELLY!!!!

I wish ......................for you to click HERE and read this short and VERY funny post. I totally love her blog!




I wish.....................everyone would follow the "twirl once in the mirror" rule before they leave the house. Unless of course you want your butt smiling at strangers.




I wish..........................that some people's butts wouldn't smile at me!!! or is that a frown?





I wish.......................not everyone would play with sharp objects.



I wish.....................that everyone would go over and meet this sharp object. Swirl girl is one of the sharpest bloggers in the land. You'll definitely laugh at THIS.





I wish...................that every power point presentation came with shadow puppets!


I wish........................The Japanese manufacturers would take a second look at some of their ideas.





I wish............................to find me one of these signs.....HILARIOUS.

I wish....................All the international symbols were this accurate.

I wish..................that none of you will forget me while I'm

gone this week. I won't be able to post or visit. I'll be on a

girls week with my BFF who is flying in from Houston. See you in 7 days!

When ya gotta go.............

Let's face it....one of the most important rooms in any home or business is the room where you do your business. Without one the world would be a "crappy" place.

So here's a little photo montage I'd like to entitle ......."The Ode to Snappy Crappers"

Is there such thing as too much...........

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You couldn't just go poop here....it would need to be a "performance"!

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You've probably seen this one before...but it deserves another look....that IS a painted floor. I bet people take a step back when they open the door....and I'm not totally sure I could walk in there.

If floor art isn't your thing....how about ceiling art?

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I'm pretty sure this concept will get most men to wash their hands........

And this one will convince women NOT to...........

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I adore this bathroom (located in Japan) I dig that you get to wear the skis.....And in this bathroom you don't go "wee" you go "WHEEEEEEEEEEEE"

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And now for the Creme de la Creme of all bathrooms. This is actually a public restroom in Texas. Here is the view from the outside..................

And this is the view from the inside..................

It's one way glass...so nobody can see you......but...........

Could you potty here?????????