#@!%@#&#~WANNA BUY A DOG?

A couple days ago I had the day off and had to run some errands. So I loaded Crumpet and Ozzie up in the truck and headed to the grocery store. The dogs totally ♥ riding in the truck.

So we're tooling down the road.....the wind in our hair, heads out the window (them not me) enjoying the brisk winter morning. I got a bag of donuts on the seat and an icy cold coke in the cup holder. And I'm thinking to myself....LIFE IS GOOD!

Then all of a sudden I notice that Crumpie is doing this bizarre twitching contortion thing. He is wiggling and shaking and completely spazzing out. I look over with kind mommy concern and say "Hey buddy...whats wrong?"

The second the words leave my mouth it happens..........HIS BUTT EXPLODES! We're talking doggy diarrhea of biblical proportions! And the sound....ugh we're not even gonna talk about the sound. And since there are two dogs on the seat....they of course proceed to scamper through said doodoo and spatter it onto any place that might have escaped the first barrage!

Now I consider myself a dedicated blogger.....but I ain't gonna take pictures of THAT! Besides I was too busy screaming and trying to pull over without killing us all. Good thing I hoard napkins....I piled those things on top of the "puddles" and proceeded to freak out all the way home!

45 minutes of having to scrub ICK from every crevice of my truck, and being forced to toss the coke and the donuts into the trash *SIGH* makes for a not so nice day.

The BAD news is.......2 days later my truck still smells like DOG CRAP!!!!

The GOOD news is.....I no longer have to lock my doors....because ain't nobody gonna steal my truck!

And for some odd reason.....Ozzie seems oddly pleased.........

♥~ MEN...YA GOTTA GETCHA ONE ~♥

It is that time of year again. Men the world over are lining up to vie for that coveted prize....

"MAN OF THE YEAR"

That's right ladies....now is the time to get a good look at what the world has to offer in awesome men. It's a tough competition. Men have been on their best behavior in hopes of winning this important award. So lets take a look at the finalists.....

First up....The entry from the United Kingdom.

Our finalist from Poland..........

And the contender from the good old USA.......

Lets not rule out our contestant from Greece.......

Then we have Serbia...they always have a top notch candidate...

But this years title has got to go to ......drum roll.....

The Irish candidate.....He got bonus points for being so

romantic...Just look...

he's holding her hand!!!

And have you ever noticed...

Woman has man in it.

Mrs. had Mr. in it.

Female has male in it.

She has he in it.

And Madam has Adam in it.

Hmmmm I'm starting to see a pattern here. And have you ever noticed that all of women's problems seem to start with MEN?

MENtal illness

MENstral cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

GUYnecologest

And when we have REAL trouble...it's a HISterectomy.

I'm just sayin...........

♥~I WISH WEDNESDAYS~♥

I've decided to start a new tradition here on my blog. It's gonna be called "I Wish Wednesdays". Which means I'm gonna do it on Wednesdays (duh)...that it will be filled with wishes......and that I'm getting desperate for blogging ideas.

So here goes the maiden voyage...

I Wish..........I had Maria's patio.... OK and her face and figure. On her blog "Unpretentious Style" you will find the other gorgeous rooms in her home.

I wish..... I had the talent of Rose over at Santa Makers Journey and could create something this beautiful. Go check out the amazing Santa's she makes. OH MY!


I wish.......I had this adorable hutch with the little sitting bench. CRAP THIS THING IS SO DANG WONDERFUL! But alas it belongs to Laurie at Bargain hunting with Laurie . If this thing wasn't nailed down....



I wish......this GLORIOUS bedroom was in my house. It was designed and decorated by the amazingly talented Gollum from Designs by Gollum . I'm pretty sure she designed this room just for me....I wonder if she'd notice if I moved in?

I wish..........I had the ability to send love, joy and happiness over the blogosphere like dear BJ from Sweet Nothings and darling Dot from Pickets place do. They make everyone feel warm, fuzzy and loved.


I wish...... I had this kitchen.....not that I'd cook...but boy would it be pretty to look at!!! This belongs to Laurie from Decorating Fanatic. Check out the rest of her gorgeous house too.


I wish .....I had a cool sister like Jill & Amy . I've begged their mom to adopt me but she just gets this horrified look on her face and then passes out. I guess I'll just have to settle for visiting them at JillJillboBill and Amelia Bedelia . Go see them and you'll wish you could be their sister too....BUT I HAVE FIRST DIBS!!!

I Wish.......I had Tootsie's touch with flowers. No you did not just die and go to heaven....that REALLY is one of her flower gardens. Go see the rest of her paradise at Tootsie Time. Just don't step on the tiny little shrine that the butterflies and bees built...they use it to worship her.

I wish.....I had the sense of humor and amazing ability to write freaking funny stuff like Anna at Life just keeps getting weirder..... Dana from Life is Good and (hmmm she doesn't use her name so we'll call her Nanny) over at Nanny goats in Panties. These women are my comedic heroes!!! If you want to laugh until liquid shoots out your orifices....go see them.

I wish......... I'd written THIS post. It made me laugh so hard! But it was written by the brilliant and beautiful Tammy from Tammy's Time flies. Ya gotta check it out!

Thanks for playing along with I wish Wednesdays....I'd love to hear what you wish......so leave a little comment..... and I hope it's true what they say...that wishes do come true!

"NICE TRY" Christmas craft

HAPPY SITSMAS DAY !!....Head over to "The secret is in the Sauce" and check out their big day of prizes every hour. The grand prize is a $200 Target gift card!...and get in on the bloggy loveathon!♥♥♥


Every now and then I see something in a magazine and think to myself......Hey I could make that!!! Yeah...let's just say that "reality" isn't my strong suit. So I was thumbing through a lovely little periodical and saw this picture. And those dreaded words popped out of my big old stupid mouth. So in a moment of insanity I headed off to Michael's and bought ..........

The magical makings of a crafty disaster. Oh but in my sad little overwrought brain I wasn't thinking disaster....I was thinking sparkly, fuzzy, magical thoughts. I was thinking that I was channeling Martha Stewart. I was blissfully out of my mind.


I started out slowly.....making sure that I didn't halfass this project. For I was sure this one was gonna be the one that put me on the map....this one was gonna be the one Craft project that actually worked. I was even going to record this masterpiece in digital glory!

And then reality reared it's ugly head.......... My base was too small (I stole it from my newly acquired cloche).....my birds were without feathered finery.....and my ornaments didn't dazzle. .....


And let's not even discuss the "tree things".


In the words of my (soon to be sleeping in the garage) hubby......"Nice Christmas shrubbery"


But am I dismayed?....have I given up this kooky notion that I am a crafting diva? NAY I SAY! On to the next project................

THOSE WERE THE DAYS......

I was recently tagged by The Purple diva herself...you know over at Purple Diva's Diary I recently found her blog and it's awesome...and I was also tagged by my friend Heather who I love to visit because her blog is cool and she always makes me feel welcome. Go say "hi" to her at Sugar n Spice mostly nice.


The tag was for 10 honest things about me...so I decided to twist it up a bit...here is what I came up with.....

10 things I can't do anymore:

#1 Touch my Toes....okay to be perfectly honest I can't even see my toes....but I really hate to admit it.
#2 Read any print smaller than a stop sign without my reading glasses....and yes if you must know...I do wear them on a pearl chain around my neck. Think....."your 2nd grade teacher".


#3 Wear a thong. Yeah...like my butt was ever built for a thong. Butt floss is not an option...never was...never will be.

#4 Oogling young hot guys. Lets face it...when you are old enough to be their mother....you start to feel a wee bit CREEPY.



#5 Walk in high heels. And at my age...you don't have to anymore. And while we're on the subject. What is with those witch shoes....and why would anyone want their feet to look THAT LONG????



#6 Eat large quantities of really unhealthy food without getting FAT. Remember when you were young and actually had a METABOLISM?

#7 Cough, Sneeze, or Laugh without leaking. I know all you youngins are snickering....JUST YOU WAIT!


#8 Be able to think or function at all, with less than 8 hours of sleep. I prefer 10 if I can get them. And even then I need a nap during the day.




#9 Wear Spandex... At least without frightening small children. (I know a picture of a woman would have fit my story better....but I ♥ me some Nacho Libre!)


#10 Remember even simple things....like what I needed to get at the store, what I did yesterday, how to find my way home, my husbands name...........


So there it is....10 awful truths. And since we're on the subject....(nice segue coming)....What's NOT awful is getting really cool awards from nice people like Amy over at Business Matters I'm new to her blog but I love visiting there. She bestowed this very nifty award.

And Heidi who is a real sweetheart and always has something fun happening over at her place at Adventure Girl Wannabe was kind enough to think of me with an award.

If you haven't been over to the ultra chic and uber fab blog "Even the Nice Ones" then go over for goodness sake. Just look at this glam award she so kindly gave me!

And my good friend Carolynn at A glowing Ember gave me this beauty. She paints the most amazing pictures with her words...she writes these deep posts that always get me thinking...which usually makes my brain hurt...but I like it!


Thanks ladies. I really appreciate you thinking about me for these wonderful awards. And thank you all for stopping in to read my nonsense! You all just make me smile!