Sunday, September 7, 2008

MARTHA STEWART I AIN'T ! ! !

I know this is going to come as a shock to my mother....but I did something today that I have never done before. (Sit down mom....brace yourself.) I actually ironed sheets. Yes...You heard correct...I ironed sheets. Now for those of you who are household diva's and do respectable things like this all the time....STOP SNICKERING!! I DON'T iron...Not me, NEVER...this is BIG news. In fact the "iron" is a completely foreign device to me. The entire time I was involved in this endeavor I had to continuely remind myself.."HOT SIDE DOWN" "HOT SIDE DOWN"! I've always believed that if it requires ironing, then it's disposable. I am a lover of all things polyester and synthetic. I have built an altar of worship for Anything that comes out of the dryer wrinkle free.

Now once you got over your shock of how pathetic I am...you're probably asking yourself why did she do this Madcrazy thing? Well...I plunged myself into the sea of domestic responsibility for one reason. Family is coming. My dear mother (who is in need of emergency care after hearing I ironed) is coming to visit...along with my Sister-in-law from Utah and my other sis-in-law from Alaska (Wasilla in fact...home of Sarah Palin YAY Sarah). They are coming for a week of tourism and fun. I want so badly for their stay to be a pleasant one. Hence the ironing of sheets. I only have 3 more days off before they arrive. And to say I'm in "PANIC MODE" is an understatement. I still have SO MUCH to do. I have to clean the entire house, wash all the dog paw & tongue prints of every freaking window in the house! I ask myself...why don't builders put windows up higher hmm? I guess because they don't have dog faces pressed to THEIR WINDOWS every waking moment of every day. I also have to clean up all the dead crap in the gardens, clean the pool, AND I have two projects I'd like very much to complete. The first is simple...I want to paint and recover this cool little bench I found at a flea market...I got the perfect spot for it in my entry way.

Then I have to get all my fall decorations out on the porch. And because you ladies have all put me to shame by decorating the INSIDE of your houses for fall (sheesh I didn't know we were supposed to do the inside!) Now I gotta go shopping for some of those cool white pumpkins, cloches, and other lovelies that I've been lusting after in YOUR houses. See how much work you've added to my list!!! FOR SHAME LADIES FOR SHAME!

And finally....the job I've been dreading for the last three years. Painting and trying to decorate the sadly pathetic pool bath. Now the reason I haven't done anything in this bath is because it's where my dogs get their muddy feet washed off, where they shake mud all over the walls, and in general create havoc. I figure why bother right? The dogs are just gonna mess it up! But with 3 extra women in the house, I know I'm gonna need that extra bathroom. Otherwise there will be some serious chick fighting over the mirror. So I present to you...another EEEEWWWWWWWW MOMENT....
I know...it's hideous...and yes that is toilet paper sitting on the sink....Crumpet was offended that it was attached to the wall on a holder...so he removed said holder with his teeth. And yes..it is a sad sorry mess. I sure hope I can work some kind of small miracle in those 3 days. WISH ME LUCK I'll need it. And if any of you have a spare Fairy Godmother or a couple of evil stepsisters hanging around....send em my way!

45 comments:

Diane@A Picture is Worth.... said...

Hi Nikki,
Just relax...your mom will love you even if the bath is not perfect!

To get it looking cute quick...maybe some big colorful artwork (posters of some sort)...something that would liven it up. If you hurry and redo it just for their visit, you may not have time to do it the way you want, and you won't be happy!

Don't wear yourself out before they get there....you won't enjoy their visit.

And if it makes you feel better, my house doesn't have any fall decorations...not yet anyway! So, get your priorities in order.

Love your flea market bench! Can't wait to see the finished project.
Diane

Life on Bonnie Lane said...

Well you are the first person I have ever heard of who ironed their sheets! lol I hope they notice and appreciate it!

I think the bathroom is fine! You wouldn't really have to do much with it except add a cute shower curtain and a pic or two. They won't be paying attention to the bathroom, they'll be visiting with YOU! They won't remember things. They'll remember the good times spent with you.

Hope it all comes around the way you hope!

Kady

da Bergs said...

You are SO cute! I cant wait to see the finished projectS!!!! I LOVE the bench! What color are you going to paint it??!!! POST the finished bench and bathroom pics!!! And, put the iron away for Pete's sake!

Nikki said...

I can't wait to see what all you do. I have never iron sheets.

Don't wear yourself out.

nikkicrumpet said...

Crap...who lied to me and had me convinced EVERYONE ironed their sheets????? I've been MISLED! But they do look really pretty lol

joelandbecca said...

The iron is my enemy! My mom spends hours ironing and starching my dad's shirts. She calls it a labor of love. Well, I love my hubby, but I can not do that. I buy him the Van Huesen wrinkle free shirts, and send them to the cleaners every once in a while to keep them crisp. No ironing for me! I am with you with that one!

I know you will get done all the stuff you need to. Most of all I hope you have a fabulous time with your family.

Carolynn said...

Whoa, Nelly! Okay, first of all BREATHE.

1. I hate to tell you this, babe, but your guests are probably not even going to notice that you ironed their sheets, unless they see a big, burnt imprint of an iron on them somewhere.

2. Seriously, you really need to see my Mom's place. You would forever see your own home through new eyes. Your bathroom is not Eeeewwwww worthy, my dear. Not even ew.

3. What fall decorations.....?

(I will admit to ironing sheets as a kid. I loved the smell of the freshly laundered sheets when they were warm and the crisp, wrinkle free look of them. It was relaxing for me. I have since grown out of that phase and, like you, rarely plug an iron in any more.)

Tracey said...

Don't be in panic mode Nikki, they are there to see you anyway, not your house.....and your house is already beautiful!
I hope you enjoy their visit :)

Joy said...

There's nothing like guests coming to help you see all the things you want to clean, change, and rearrange in your home.....well, I guess blogging makes you feel that way too. ;~)

Brown-Eyes said...

Hi Nikki...What a fun way to start my day this morning...you are a hoot! I did iron a set of twin sheets ONCE then promptly tied them up with a pretty ribbon and put them in my next garage sale....they were a wrinkled blob when I took them out of the dryer & they were a name brand designer label too! I seem to work better under pressure and I'll just bet you do too...Your home is so beautiful! ;-) Bo

Darlene said...

Oh Nikki,
You are so funny....I think that is how most of us feel when family is coming....get my house spotless! But I can't believe you ironed sheets...WOW....I have NEVER done that in my life and don't expect I ever will....lol

Don't work yourself to death, you know just pick up and get the areas that they will be in a bit better. From what I have seen your house is gorgeous anyway...so I doubt it needs what all you think it does.

vickie said...

I just discovered your blog this morning ... and I'm reading way too many previous posts when I should be going to bed (I work nights in our er). I just wanted to let you know how wonderful your blog is!

bj said...

ahh, girlfriend...they will love your house just as it is but not as much as they love YOU, so...relax. (yeah...easy for me to say, hu? i kill myself when I am having overnight company)
You must be some kind of fast if you do everything you've mentioned here in THREE days. GOOD GRIEF, WOMAN...don't kill yourself

santamaker said...

Oh my goodness , you are so funny! Martha would be so proud of you for ironing your sheets.... I have a friend that does that and she says it's worth every minute of work. I asked if she didn't wrinkle them anyway, when she is in bed and she said ,"no, I get in and don't move..LOL, so they stay nice and neat!!!"
Glad to know I'm not the only one that goes into panic mode when company comes!

Smilingsal said...

My mother-in-law used to ironed her sheets. One year she had surgery, and I went to help her. Yep. She had me ironing sheets!

Nowadays, if it needs ironing, I don't buy it. My iron can sit and rust, and I won't even notice!

You're going be so perfect your family will cluck their tongues and decide you've CHANGED!

Penny said...

Ironing sheets? Now that's LUV! Are you going to sprinkle them with a little Primrose powder too? hahaha I have a gf who irons with lavender water! :-)
I used to be all hung up on ironing clothes, now, not so much.

The bathroom is totally fine! Hang up some photos of the dogs, along with maybe their paw prints, and you're better than good to go girl!

Have a fantabulous Monday!

Susan (Moonlight and Magnolias on RMS) said...

That is one ambitious schedule you got there, woman! I'm breathless just reading it! Too funny about the T.P. My son has a cat, Haley, who is now living with him in his apartment in Ohio where he's in law school. Haley used to go in each of our three bathrooms while we were all at work or school and she would unroll every single piece of paper off the rolls. We'd come home to find TP all piled up on the floor in each of the baths. She only did it a couple of times a year...we thought it was hilarious...and slightly annoying! :-) Susan

Rhoda @ Southern Hospitality said...

Nikki, you're so cute! I'm sure you will do fine...they are family & will understand.

I love that little bench..be sure to show us when it's done.

Deb said...

No sheet ironing here sister!, but I will admit to buying Cotton sheets that I learn after washing that they would need ironing to ever look the way they did when I bought them. Perhaps you have some of those. Well what I did was folded them up and packed their butts away on the closet shelf, and that was the end of them until I got RID OF THEM. Oh well, don't wear yourself out. They are coming to see the family.

P.S. My Dad had to have his underwear ironed. Deb

onlymehere said...

When you're done there fly back here with your sister I could use this spurt of energy you have to get my home back together! It's taking a freaking long time. I'm not Martha Stewart either but somehow we manage to stay healthy and alive!! Take care and have fun with your company!

Sandy Toes said...

Ironed sheets that is something I have never done! I have a lot of out of town guests and use to run around with my head cut off...but I have tried to slow it down and realize they are coming for my family...not my house! So relax and enjoy this time! From what I can tell your speaks for itself! Cute bench!
-Sandy toes

Annie said...

I've never ironed sheets either. That would take way too long! My family is lucky if they get sheets that have been fluffed in the dryer. I have always said there is nothing like a deadline looming to make you get things done. I always wait to the last minute, and then kill myself getting stuff done. If I was anywhere near you, I would definitely stop by and help out!

Bridget said...

Nikki, I am working on a special surprise post about my blogging buddies and I would like to use your pic. I know you don't have a profile pic posted so if you don't want to participate, that's okay, I just wanted to include you too. I think it is going to be a lot of fun.

Thanks, Bridget

p.s. my email addy is on my profile page if you want to send me a photo.

cedwards55 said...

Breathe in~~~~ breathe out! Nikki, I hate to tell you this but I have a friend who not only irons her sheets, she irons her nightie too! I think she needs therapy! She actually has turned it into a business and gives all the profits to missions.
Now, If I were you, I wouldn't be worrying about the sheets and the bathroom. (okay, I would. I'd be in panic mode right along with you!) They are going to have a ball with you and you are all going to laugh until your faces hurt. Company and deadlines are typically the only way I get projects ALL the way done. Have a good time and make some kodak moments. Can't wait to hear all the inside info you get on my girl Sarah!

Sincerely Yours said...

Dear Nikki! Thanks for the laugh!! Breath girl breath..oh and what happens after they sleep in the bed and wrinkle the sheets and cases???? Have a great day and enjoy your company! Lots to do and see in Mass. Have fun - Sincerely, Jeannette I have to catch up on all you've been up to so I'm extending my blog time today!lol

Kathy said...

Nikki! Won't keep you long dear, I can see you are very very busy, I just hope Crumpit and Ozzie are helping you, I can totally see them making the beds haha, just a quick thank you for such a PERFECT gift and to wish you ALL a wonderful time both at your home and in NYC!!!! YAY!!!!! don't forget to hop on 'n' off that bus, haha. big hugs, Kathy

Anonymous said...

They're family don't kill yourself (hmmm easy for me to say when I am guilty of the same).

Cute little bench..can't wait to see it done !!

Kathy :)

Marie said...

You have a POOL bath? Is your last name Kennedy?

I've NEVER ironed sheets. I just take them out of the dryer all nice and hot and throw them back on the bed before they get a chance to wrinkle. Maybe. :o)

Diane of Crafty Passions said...

I use to iron sheets yup I did when I was newly married but ..... LOL!!! not anymore, heck I use to iron my tea towels!!!
Hey I will do one better I use to iron socks!!!!
Not anymore!!!!!!!
Diane

aunties said...

Nikki,
You do crack me up and made my morning! My precious mom to this day irons her sheets and pillow cases. It is sooo liberating for me not to...unless like you, she comes to visit:)LOL
Remember they are family (& from Utah!) and no one could love you more. I love the tale of the bathroom and with added females living at our home I can't agree with you more. The bathroom does need just a bit of help. A shower curtain and as long as the bathroom is clean, has hot water, clean towels and a mirror, you are set. Take time later and do it as you really want it to be after they are gone. They aren't coming to see your bathroom, but to visit and with YOU.
Good Luck and enjoy your visit!
Beth

Deb said...

Hi Nikki, stop by when you have the chance for an award. Deb

Brenda said...

Well, I needed a good laugh. Im sure it will all work out fine,but I can see you working on those sheets. Not an easy job. I love mine ironed,but they don't always get it.

Scooterblu's Whimsy said...

Nikki, Your home is so fabulous, they are certain to enjoy their stay whether it is perfectly clean or not! :) I'm with you on the ironing! Try to do as little of it as possible! LOL! And I know exactly all about those snotty, drool stains from the dogs on the windows and doors! They ought to make adhesive out of that stuff! It is a booger to get off! No pun intended! LOL! ~Rhonda :)

Bridget said...

You know they say dogs resemble their masters but this is crazy! LOL You and Crumpet are practically twins. I guess your children take after their dad!

nikkicrumpet said...

ROFL very funny Bridget...and yes they do take after their father...THANK GOODNESS!

Mariafer said...

Hi NIkki, I agree with everybody else...they'll be visiting you and your house is already gorgeous.
Enjoy your mom and your sisters in law and yes...I iron my sheets and my husband shirts every week...I know I have a problem but can't help....
Sending you a lot of fairies...
HUgs
Maria

Fifi Flowers said...

HILARIOUS! I'm with you all the way... NO ironing for this girl and never sheets... I don't care who is coming... you are far better then moi!
Good luck with the bathroom... how much time did you say you had...

Jeanne said...

Nikki, I am going to give you the best advice ever. Are you ready? I live this1 If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. Feel better now? I hope so. Smiling.

Your bench is lovely, but It can wait until after company. Go to bed early you will accomplish more if you are rested.

Last, they love you. and only want to have a good time with you, not the house.

Good luck, Jeanne

Mrs. B said...

Iron sheets? People do that? Well, I can honestly say I've never ironed my sheets before. And that bathroom has potential. That little pedestal sink is very cute. Good luck, and don't stress yourself out too much!

Swirl Girl said...

First of all - thanks for stopping by and for all the comment love

Secondly- these are some scary beautiful girls you have here.

lastly- what is thing iron? does that have anything to do with the funny looking surf board with the the collapsable X under it?

and really lastly - you are Martha Stewart...you lie.

Angie said...

Wait a minute...ya mean we are supposed to iron sheets??? I don't even iron clothes unless we are going to a a.) a wedding b.) a funeral c.) see a or b. I like your bathroom and think it looks rather clean....and that sink is great! I just found your blog and am having a great time reading through your posts! Have a wonderful visit with your family!

~Angie

Suzann said...

As a panic perfectionist, I have always been told one thing...people come to be with YOU not your house. Now, I get physically ill when things aren't perfect and company's comin'. LOL. How fun that you ironed your sheets! I adore ironing. I find it so relaxing. I haven't ironed for a while, but you've inspired me to spend some quality time ironing as I could use the stress relief.

Michael said...

I iron my sheets once. I think I ironed more wrinkles into them than I took out. That phase passed quickly.

Now I'm really interested in how all your wrinkle free stuff stays wrinkle free. Cause I'm the king of corporate "wrinkle free" casual...and I still have to iron the freaking stuff. It always comes out a wrinkled mess.

My friend Maike from Germany is visiting Jay and me a week from this Friday. Maybe I should have given this a little more thought...do you do housecalls?

Enjoy the visit with your family!!!!

Nancy said...

Nikki, I know exactly how you feel, but when company is coming, seems like I can get 5 days of work done in 2 or 3...I just get in that GET UR DONE mode...just wish I had that MODE all the time..lol. Love all the funny things you say in your post...you make me laugh! Blessings, Nancy

Rue said...

I would just throw up a shower curtain and some pictures. Seriously, when you have more time, all that bathroom needs is some paint. The sink and mirror are really cute :)

Oh and my mom irons her sheets too and Rich loves her for it when we visit LOL

hugs,
rue

 

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