I know this is going to come as a shock to my mother....but I did something today that I have never done before. (Sit down mom....brace yourself.) I actually ironed sheets. Yes...You heard correct...I ironed sheets. Now for those of you who are household diva's and do respectable things like this all the time....STOP SNICKERING!! I DON'T iron...Not me, NEVER...this is BIG news. In fact the "iron" is a completely foreign device to me. The entire time I was involved in this endeavor I had to continuely remind myself.."HOT SIDE DOWN" "HOT SIDE DOWN"! I've always believed that if it requires ironing, then it's disposable. I am a lover of all things polyester and synthetic. I have built an altar of worship for Anything that comes out of the dryer wrinkle free.
Now once you got over your shock of how pathetic I am...you're probably asking yourself why did she do this Madcrazy thing? Well...I plunged myself into the sea of domestic responsibility for one reason. Family is coming. My dear mother (who is in need of emergency care after hearing I ironed) is coming to visit...along with my Sister-in-law from Utah and my other sis-in-law from Alaska (Wasilla in fact...home of Sarah Palin YAY Sarah). They are coming for a week of tourism and fun. I want so badly for their stay to be a pleasant one. Hence the ironing of sheets. I only have 3 more days off before they arrive. And to say I'm in "PANIC MODE" is an understatement. I still have SO MUCH to do. I have to clean the entire house, wash all the dog paw & tongue prints of every freaking window in the house! I ask myself...why don't builders put windows up higher hmm? I guess because they don't have dog faces pressed to THEIR WINDOWS every waking moment of every day. I also have to clean up all the dead crap in the gardens, clean the pool, AND I have two projects I'd like very much to complete. The first is simple...I want to paint and recover this cool little bench I found at a flea market...I got the perfect spot for it in my entry way.
Then I have to get all my fall decorations out on the porch. And because you ladies have all put me to shame by decorating the INSIDE of your houses for fall (sheesh I didn't know we were supposed to do the inside!) Now I gotta go shopping for some of those cool white pumpkins, cloches, and other lovelies that I've been lusting after in YOUR houses. See how much work you've added to my list!!! FOR SHAME LADIES FOR SHAME!
And finally....the job I've been dreading for the last three years. Painting and trying to decorate the sadly pathetic pool bath. Now the reason I haven't done anything in this bath is because it's where my dogs get their muddy feet washed off, where they shake mud all over the walls, and in general create havoc. I figure why bother right? The dogs are just gonna mess it up! But with 3 extra women in the house, I know I'm gonna need that extra bathroom. Otherwise there will be some serious chick fighting over the mirror. So I present to you...another EEEEWWWWWWWW MOMENT....
I know...it's hideous...and yes that is toilet paper sitting on the sink....Crumpet was offended that it was attached to the wall on a holder...so he removed said holder with his teeth. And yes..it is a sad sorry mess. I sure hope I can work some kind of small miracle in those 3 days. WISH ME LUCK I'll need it. And if any of you have a spare Fairy Godmother or a couple of evil stepsisters hanging around....send em my way!