Thursday, May 7, 2009

~♥~ I WISH WEDNESDAY ~♥~ The Thursday edition


I wish.......................I wasn't feeling this overwhelmed! Sorry I've been such a bad blog visitor....things are just piling up and I can't seem to see my way clear....




I wish.........................I could do this.....ok that was actually my hubby's wish.





I wish........................I'd thought of this years ago.............





I wish.........................to introduce you to Carma from Carma Sez she will make you laugh.....and she might share a cheese ball or two if you're really nice.





I wish.............................to never never never hire a contractor who thinks this is a good idea.





I wish.......................I hadn't had to edit his sign....because even though it's naughty...its freaking funny.






I wish........................I had those boobs...but that's not the point of this....I wish I had thought of that caption.






I wish.......................She had a more fitting facial expression....somehow I think he's gonna wipe that smile off her face...






I wish...............................men were still this suave!


I wish......................I could hire these guys for my next party. BONUS!





I wish.........................that after he sells his house he doesn't move next door to me!





I wish.........................to not get run over by a pink Cadillac after this post....don't hurt me ladies...it's a joke!




I wish..................................I could find out where this bathroom is located.....I want to feel the magic!





I wish.........................that I was 1/10th as hilarious as this woman!!! Not like she needs the traffic....lord knows the woman has plenty of readers....but dang if you're not one of them you should be......Click HERE and then you can thank me later.





I wish..................to point out one more reason in the long list of why I don't go out past my ankles.




I wish.................to apologize in advance. I'm going out of town for a week, and when I get back I'm going to be buried in rodents yard work and other crap. So if I'm not around much please, oh please, forgive me. I'll try to catch up with you all when I can. Oh and don't post anything totally cool while I'm gone!!!




107 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

Eeek! I'm not a cat person, but eeek!!

Great and funny wishes (as usual).

Sorry you're overwhelmed. We'll just wait patiently, cuz we lurve you totally and completely! *smile*

Have a great week off!

Diane @ Four Paws and Co said...

Good ones Nikki! Have a great week! ♥ Diane

Sweet Caroline said...

Do you think the first picture demonstrates that it is important to possibly take more than one trip?

The flexible lady actually looks like a young, thinner Oprah. Do you see it?

I am glad that the guy who lost his job, his family, his house and car is not showing any signs of bitterness.

Whoever took the pic of the dog about to eat the woman has fantastic photography skills...

And, my husband IS this suave. He just blows from the other end.

The catering and pest control is simply...scary.

And, only 50 cents to feel the magic? Sounds like my wedding night.

And, the cat with the four mice on its head? I have found the perfect Mother's day picture of me with my four kids! Thank you! Now I don't have to go to Kiddie Kandids!

And, sweet lady, nothing interesting will happen without you...

LadyFi said...

Too funny! That last picture is a classic!

As for a bit of pesticide with your catered food...what a wonderful business idea!

Beth said...

My husband is a caterer. I'm going to suggest the bug killing option on the side. Brilliant!

Have fun on your trip! We'll miss you!

hip chick said...

I love the real estate sign. I think we've had a few of those over the years...the a-holes I mean. A few of them even thought every one else was an a-hole. They left...we're still here...I'm not sure which one that makes us?

mbkatc230 said...

I'm just cracking up - what a way to start my day! Love the for sale sign, I guess he was just trying to live up to the letter of the full disclosure laws! And don't forget Nikki, I work for a vet - if you need E-collars, I can get them for you at cost lol. Thanks for the giggles and have a great trip! Kathy

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

Nikki, how'd you get that picture of my boobs?

KC Mom said...

I don't know if I'll be able to sleep now...thinking of catering and pest control and mice climbing all over a cat!!
I may have to borrow your overwhelmed picture though...it suits me.

Cynthia said...

Nikki,
Have a wonderful trip and we'll look forward to your next post! I wish, oh I'm glad, I'm in the country, neighbors like that can make ya crazy! That dog leaping towards the lady and that surfer with the shark pic are so really freaky. I'm so glad my kitties still like to eat the mice! Have Fun, Cindy

Heather said...

Yay for the Carma shout-out! I still owe her a video from Blogathon and feel incredibly guilty, as I have had one thing after another (sickness, major child sickness, selling the house, packing and moving...) prevent me from being able to get it done. :( I'm the Worst Blogger Ever. So, YOU should not feel in the least bit bad for having less time to pop by folks' blogs, my dear!

Those woman's boobs are bigger than my head. Yet, I betcha she weighs less than I do, overall. Is that justice? Humph.

We saw some (male) contortionists at the circus last weekend. Two of them were smack-dab in front of our seats, and there were times when both Hubby and I had to avert our eyes. OUCH and YIKES!

Hope the "out of town" trip is for fun and is fantastic!! Perhaps Ozzie and Crumpet could guest blog while you're gone.....?

Karen said...

Thank you , I had a good giggle

Shewinn8 said...

Hurry back! Your posts are medicinal for my case of the blah blah blahs.

roy/elisabeth dean said...

Have a wonderful trip Nikki!
I hope you get really rested and relaxed and feel less overwhelmed.
Great post....poor kitty!
Headed to work now, have a Terrific THursday~
♥,Lilly

Sandy Toes said...

That shark below the surfer gave me chills..yikes!!!
sandy toe

Jessica said...

Another great post ( even if it was a day late...lol. ) Hope yu have a good time on your trip!

Hugs~ J

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Lovin' the lamp shade collar over the winkie... heh heh heh...


Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Kat said...

Oh my gawd! How did that woman bed like that. I seriously had my head cocked to the side trying to figure out the physics of it.

Justine/Justiney/Tiney said...

You're going out of town AGAIN? Now that's just not fair!

Okay, the for sale sign was hysterical. Gee, what a great message to send while trying to sell your house! Move here, the neighbors are GREAT!

Justine :o )

Cadance said...

You crack me up...AGAIN! I wish I was even 1/10 as funny as you!

Have a wonderful Mother's Day & week away! FUN!

...and Kristins P. IS Funny Too..I Agree!

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

The shark and surfer picture freaked me out! I wonder what happened!
I love all your wishes and sorry you are feeling overwhelmed, we need to have coffee and commiserate ;). I'm right there with you! Have a great trip, and BTW, I will be posting lots of cool and very funny things, because that's how I ROLL. LOL!

onlymehere said...

Okay, I hate cats but I hate mice even more! This final picture is freaking me out!! Have a great blog break and I'll catch up with you later. Cindy

Midwest Mommy said...

You know I came here wondering where this post was, lol!
I love your wishful posts. Have a great trip and be safe!

Kristina P. said...

YOu know, I read your posts and I think the exact same thing you said about me. You are hilarious and completely delightful.

And I sort of hate you sometimes. In that, I wish I had posted that kind of way.

Have a great time!

Gaston Studio said...

So sorry you're overwhelmed these days and can only say JOIN THE F'IN CROWD!

Also sorry you're going to miss the fantastic posts I'll be putting out while you're gone.

Gaston Studio said...

Oh, and I LOVE the pics, as usual!

Laura said...

I don't go in past my ankles either, and after my flying ant episode, I'd hire that guy in a minute!

Jan the crazy lady said...

Those are some doozzies. Kristina is hilarious and that other lady sounds pretty fab too.

All husbands wish for that one picture.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I hear ya on the overwhelmed part - I am, too! And Hovering Hubby isn't making it easy by hovering this week... ;)

Loved all of them, of course!! That last picture is a bit freaky... ;)

Enjoy your week off! We'll be here for you when you get back! ;)

Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity said...

Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, Where do you find this stuff? I love starting my day reading your blog. I am always guaranteed a good laugh. You are the best!
Hugs, Terrie

Loving Annie said...

Have a great time when you are out of town, Nikki !

Loved the surfboard/shark one :)

And the uhmmmm, boobs/married one :)

And the no-scratch one too !

Pedaling said...

ooohh, the last one totally grossed me out.
the begger yes funny
and the house for sale- love it when it's stated like it is.
great i wish wednesday!

oh, and don't worry about the lack of comments. i comment far less around the bloggy world these days- not on purpose, it's just lot's going on. people understand. it's all good.

have a great week.

Becky said...

I wait every week now for this! Thank you...you don't dissapoint:)

The guy with the for sale sign..{{Tee Hee}} HOw in the world does he expect to sell the house like that lol!

And the cat at the end. Bless his patient heart...gotta love it!

Have a good week. We will miss you!

French Fancy said...

Don't over do it - gonna miss you

♥ Braja said...

Oh I LOVE that caption on the breast photo!!! LOL....love it...and the dog who's gonna BITE that smile off her face. oUCH...
xxx
come back soon precious :)) oh wait..damn, i didn't check what date you posted that...and you visited me, so does that mean you're back? :))
xxx

thedomesticfringe said...

I can't get that dog photo out of my mind. That lady may not get that dog's teeth out of her mind.

Sorry things are so busy for you. Hope they slow down some.

-FringeGirl

Carolynn said...

Forget the boobs (and the wedding ring, for that matter), I wish I had that woman's fabulous nails.

Poor kitty...that is a classic 'hard done by' look.

I think that dog has had enough play time. Is that where the phrase, "I'd like to rip your face off" came from, I wonder...?

Enjoy your week off! I'm envious. I'll miss you while you're gone.

salmagundi said...

Have fun out of town --- return safely with more funny posts!!!! Sally

amelia bedelia said...

I was just thinking how slutty that girl with big american breasts was..and then I saw the wedding ring. YOu make me laugh, Nikki Crumpet!

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

what can I say-------"SHANE!!!?-----COME BACK SHANE!!?"

Tootsie said...

sadly I wish I had thought of the anti itch cone for what goes on here too! have a great mother's day!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Nikki..I and I know others probably feel the same, don't give a hoot that you can't make the rounds, although it's great when you can, but just being able to come and look at your hilarious photo's and comments is enough for me. We love you Nikki, but then you KNOW that!
Mona

Fifi Flowers said...

FAB FUN as ALWAYS!!! Can't wait to hear about your adventures when you return to us!
ENJOY!

Ginger said...

Another great post, Nikki. I love reading everyone's comments too.
I'm still trying to figure out the toilet picture, what kind of magic you get for 50cents. Maybe they wipe for you. The homeless guy begging is funny.
Have a great week, whatever you are doing. And most of all, Have a Happy Mother's day.
Ginger

Melissa said...

The boob poster and the dude with his sign are making me laugh out loud and now I am having to explain myself at work!

Thanks for the giggles

Heather @ Sugar N Spice Mostly Nice said...

Have a great vacation!

Thanks for the laughs!!

Grand Pooba said...

Yikes! Is that cat lazy or just dumb? I don't know what you're talking about, my boobs ARE that big.

Lorie said...

I love it...except the picture of the cat covered in mice...that gives me the willies!!

And Kristina is HILARIOUS!

Have a good trip!

dana said...

You always have the greatest I Wish Weds. How do you come up with those pictures? Thanks for this one--Loved the cartoon of the anti-scratching device! Hmmmmm--where did they find that? :)

Have a good time on your trip! L, Dana

Together We Save said...

Ohhh! Ok I was loving this post until the last picture and ohhh, Good lord I hate mice.

carma said...

Man, you caught me off guard on this one! And I want to add an I Wish, as in I wish I had seen it sooner so I could have thanked you sooner!! I am honored to be featured on your blog :D
carma

Sassy said...

Those were freaking awesome!!!! Love the married boobs.... hahahaha

bj said...

I know the feeling...I have been way busy with yard work, baseball games and getting ready for company...
I won't be around much, either..
See ya later...bj

The Garden of Egan said...

I was not disappointed, you are worth the wait. I don't have any idea who is funnier, you or Kristina, but I do know that both of you are totally insane....and it's a beautiful thing.

Love your post AGAIN! The kitty is so cute, and those cute little mice are cute.

Rainy Day Farm said...

That shark one freaked me out. I too only go up to my ankles. Yikes. No cruise ships for me! Thanks for all the laughs! Keep up the great work.

Sue said...

Love the husband cartoon..I had to steal it....and I thought of you today...I was stopped at a traffic light and next to me was a young guy with 2 "Boobs" hanging from his rear view mirror....with nipples and everything....They were like stuffed animals for perverts....I know if it was you stopped next to him you would have taken out the camera and taken a shot....I never have the nerve...I gotta change that, it would have made for a great post....

Diane@A Picture is Worth.... said...

Hi Nikki,
Great post...you always find the most interesting stuff!

I haven't been too good to visit lately either! And I don't think you have to worry about my blog being too interesting. LOL

Have a good vacation.
:) Diane

Michelle said...

Oh, that poor cat. That picture is just freaky. Thanks for introducing me to two fun bloggers. Not that I have the time to read more blogs!

Enjoy your vacation.

Straight to Your Hart said...

That last picture is pure torture..for me!! Just imagining them on my face...well spiders are on the top of the freak out list.

LMAO...thanks!!

Em said...

I wish...you wouldn't stress about making the blog rounds.

We understand! And anyone who doesn't can just "beg" off.

Have a safe and relaxing trip!

Swirl Girl said...

I wish i never saw the last picture....two of my least favorite species with 4 legs!

I'm jumping on a chair right now shrieking...

Lilly said...

Very funny, you are so clever, love it!!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

I have to say the Thursday edition of "IWW" was just as good as a Wed. edition. That dog scratching collar thing had me laughin' out loud! I wish you weren't feeling overwhelmed too, and I really wish you and wonderful, relaxing trip. laurie

Picket said...

Girl you are a nut for sure!!!!! lol I have been way beyond overwhelmed lately with all that goes on around here in the Summer...wait...it's not even Summer yet!!!! I just have not been a good blogger lately..it's like I will never catch up! I hope you have a great trip girl and Happy Mother's day to you sweetie!

Shawn said...

OH NO!!! I guess that this means that you can't come to the blogger get-together at Brimfield!

So sad....

wendy said...

OK so have fun on your trip. Just be sure and let us know when your back. I'm on my way to get one of those for sale signs for my yard!!

Sara's Sweet Surprise said...

I feelin it... the weight too (in more ways than one). My house looks like the warehouse where that guy in the photo gets his inventory! I've got the summer reservations rolling in...which puts me in a dilemma to actually find a place for my family to sleep without needing vaccinations.

How did that gift you were working on for your friend turn out? Did I miss the reveal post?

After that (tremendously funny) crack about Mary Kay. You may have blown your chances for obtaining the coveted PINK CADDY!


Sweet wishes,
Sara

imjacobsmom said...

That cat is freaking me out and so is that dog! I don't think that guy got too much money in his styrofoam cup, do you? I agree I never swim in a lake or the ocean if I can help it! ~ Robyn

H.K. said...

I love the yard sign. I think I'll get one for my front yard for the neighbor who keeps having her dog take a crap on our front lawn.

It will say: "Warning, do not have dogs crap on our yard. Or the man of the house will recipricate and crap on yours."

And the husband has threatened to do that!

Natalia said...

^whoah!^ LOL

Puls.P. is one of my faves, too!

Happy Mother's Day, Nikki! :D

Kritta22 said...

That first was is hilirrrrous!! I had to stop reading and go pee!!

What are you talking about?? You have just as much track as Kristina P. And just as funny!

I love you both!

jewelryandgiftsbyrebecca said...

The expression on that cat's face is priceless.
Have a great weekend!

Jannie Funster said...

You Rock, Nikki. And you always will.

Cherie said...

Love the "no scratch" collar on the hubby! Freakin' Hilarious!!!!

OMG thanks for the LaughSSS Today!! You rock as always!!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Well, once again, Ed has beaten me to the punch. I was pretty much going to say the same thing he did.

Also...I found Carma Sez for the first time today too!!!

Awesome cat pic, Ms. Crumpet!

Ann said...

That was so funny and entertaining and partly true too.

You're a cool blogger....Props

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Oh woahhhhh. Whilst I am a total cat person (and dog too), that last picture gave me all kinds of willies!

As always, love your IWW, even when they fall on Thursdays and I don't bothering visiting until Saturday...see, I'm just prolonging the joy!

JANE said...

Happy Mother's Day Nikki!!

Yeah, my hubby wishes also!

Happy To Be said...

May you have a wonderful Mother's day my friend...hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

Rachel said...

Hi nikki,

im passing on the Lemonade Award to you, hope you don't mind:)

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Wishing you a Happy Mother's Day! :)

Fragrant Liar said...

Boy, Ed always has a lot to say, doesn't he? I just wish I knew what it was.

Have a great vacation, and happy mama's day!

Marrdy said...

Happy Mothers Day!! Sorry I missed this on Thursday! I had all my kids looking at this when they popped in today. They think you're VERY FUNNY too!

tiburon said...

That shark one is the bomb.

This is the best I WISH list ever! :)

jeanne said...

Hi Nikki, loved your wishes and had a great laugh. Actually lots of laughs. Have a great week Nikki. We are leaving for the West on Sat. I have no idea when I will have service, so for 5 weeks It will be sporadic for posting. I'll see you when?????

Hugs...Jeanne

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

How's my favorite friend blogger today?! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this, laughing to hard, crying so hard...thanks for cheering me up today!!! :)

Beverly said...

I wish I would learn not to visit you while I am at work. My giggles and snickers attract attention.

You're going to get me in trouble. ;-)

Lo said...

Love IT!!!!! I'm having a giveaway! So visit if you can!

MiMi said...

Ha! I can totally relate to the first photo. I have been out of blog land for awhile and now I'm trying to get back to it. I love all of your pics/titles. I have a lot of the same wishes. :)

King of New York Hacks said...

Great pics, I wish to see some more....and that contracter had to be on crack.

Sincerely Yours said...

Hi Nikki! First I want to know what Ed said????? I do feel like the first photo and the last one is giving me nightmares while awake! Have FUN where ever you are going for a week! Stay safe! Jeannette

Linda's Blue Gate said...

I hope you got to see you lovely children for Mother's Day..... you know no one could forget about you...
HUgs
Linda

Aleta said...

WHERE do you get these pictures?

The girl's position is FREAKY!

Love the scratch himself cartoon. HEHE

and the boobs comment - hilarious

OMG OUCH at the dog picture!

Love the house sale sign.

and that cat picture - that's just WRONG!!!!

Lizzie said...

great "i wish" post as always, hope things settle down at your house soon. :)

raxx a day in the life said...

Was it something I said? Just kidding................... hurry back!

tardevil said...

Hilarious, as always! Enjoy your time away!

Kristen Andrews said...

love the sign about the asshole neighbor, that is good but will not sell a house!

Scooterblu's Whimsy~Rhonda said...

Good Morning, Nikki! Outragously funny as always! (Hope that is a word! LOL!) Don't work too hard! ~hugs, Rhonda :)

Rue said...

Hi Nikki :)

The house sale sign... LOLOLOLOLOL

Have fun while you're away!!

rue

hellosweetworld said...

These are totally great! As if the others weren't....but i like all of these...hehe.

Have a good trip!

The Blonde Duck said...

The vet and boob picture cracked me up!

Bee and Rose said...

Do not worry, my sweet friend! Lots of us in the land of blog are feeling the overwhelmed funk as well!

I don't even know where to begin! Every single bit was FABULOUS and HILARIOUS!!!!! Bravo!

You completely turned my awful day (well, let's get real...last two months) completely around! I am leaving here in a happy place! Thank you for the giggles! I will be back for more!

Michael said...

If it's not chlorinated, I'm not going in either!!! Love this post, LOL!

~♥~ Monica S said...

LOve that last picture!! :-) hehehe!!!

Monica

Alison said...

I am catholic, we call this Ass wednesday... LOL..

You are hysterical, I am a follower now!

Tink said...

Wow! Check out your eternal comments! I'm number 106! Woot! Hey, I wish I had bigger boobs myself! That was on my 100 things about me list a long time ago. I secretly snuck in there that I secretly wish I could have a boob job! :)

Smilingsal said...

Have fun; see you when you come back.

 

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