I wish..........the Pepsi people would clarify that whole "The taste of a new generation" thingie......is this really what you had in mind???? And Nana..........if you start feeling an urge to sharpen your teeth....SWITCH TO COCA COLA!!!
I wish.................that the manufacturers of these lovely toys would make a stuffed plush toy version of SNOT, VOMIT, and SPIT so I could have an entire set of bodily excretions.
I wish...................someone had told me about the secret ingredient...no wonder my chicken doesn't make you want a second helping!
I wish.....................you'd all go check out Natalie at My life as Neil's wife....She makes me laugh and her post on brownies proves she is funny AND smart!
I wish.....................I had me some of this yummy stuff.....yeah baby....nothing says "eat me" like stuff that comes out of a toilet!
I wish.............................they had chosen a better place for the trigger and the plug.
I wish......................To NEVER drive this road without a "pass" of some sort.
I wish..............................For a plausible explanation????????????? And what the CRAP is that hairy thing in the tub??????
I wish..............................everyone would watch THIS vlog over at Jenni's "Jiggety Jigg...you'll find yourself smiling and chuckling all the way through it....she is just so blasted adorable!
I wish.....................to warn Kristina.............I'm buying one of these purple hairy suits...and then me and my purple fur are coming for you and your Snuggie....GAME ON!
I wish.........................I could stop laughing at this.
I wish.....................that since I get lost A LOT....that all confusing road signs would apologize to me.
I wish..................they'd be a little more specific...............
I wish...........................to add ................"JUST BARELY"
THANKS for stopping by for another IWW.....I love and miss you all....and if the weeds don't kill me I'll be seeing you sooooon. Until then....I hope all your bodily function wishes come true!
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98 comments:
Oh GOSh FIRST!!!!!
So excited to be first!
When you confront Kristina in your purple suit make sure you send out invites - i totally want to be there!! ha ha
Thanks for the laugh today and have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!!
The "tub" pic is cracking me up! Just what was the thought process behind that?!
"Hey, Billy Ray... take a pic of me with my new rifle. Isn't it cute... my fav color, pink! No, mama can't hold you right now, baby... she's gotta hold her new gun so she can show it off. Oh, all right, come here... wait, this isn't working, I can't hold both the baby and the gun, dammit. I know! Let's go sit in the tub!"
Yeah... I'm sure it was something like that...
First, I wish that Internet Explorer would stop being a douchebag and stop giving me errors.
And second, we could totally have a cage fight. Me in my Snuggie, and you in your, uh, purple suit that makes you look like that thing at McDonalds. Not the Hamburgler. Who is his fat purple friend?
Ahahaha! These IWW posts never fail! :)
Shannon took the words out of my mouth! Wow!
Where do you find those pictures? They are always so hysterical!
Good luck weeding!!
I'm with you on the Dr. Pepper. Not that I would know what urine tastes like...
That purple suit is a must! We must have pictures, lol!
Hilarious!
I can't say that I can even take a stab at that picture! A woman holding a baby and a pink gun in a bathtub with a really hairy creature. Hmmmm... You MUST read my letter to Olay! :)
That snuggie is just wrong - very funny though
Hey Nikki, thanks for the laughs, off to visit your links
Have fun in your garden, cant wait to see the pics!
Nikki, you are truely amazing and inspiring. I want some toilet candy and a purple suit and I want to be sure I don't get lost. You give me reason to live and hope.
I hope you get in control of the jungle cause I'm not gonna make it through a week without reading you.
Kristina, the Hamburglar's fat purple friend is Grimnis.
Do NOT ask me how I know that!
I think the purple suit looks like The Grinch...only purple and super unattractive on most figures.
Forget the hairy tub monster, why the crap do they have MIRRORS surrounding the tub?! The LAST thing I want to see while I'm bathing is myself naked under unflattering lighting.
Love them all but especially the road signs... where do you find theme all!
I am not sure about that hairy thing in that tub...really...what the crap is that???? Nancy
Oh Nikki!
You so funny, lady!
But, but, BUT...you broke my heart when you dissed MY Dr. Pepper!
sigh
Well maybe you didn't...I drink DIET Dr. Pepper!
heh heh
Great post Nikki!!!
Was that a dog in the tub?
Popped over for a LAUGH... I wish I had time to pop in yesterday... I really needed a LAUGH... ask my kids... ohof those "mom's lost it days"... Don't you just LOVE hormones!
BTW... I thought I'd make YOUR DAY... want to HAVE the painting of your master bedroom so you can stop hoarding the notecards?
You could totally take Kristina in her snuggie. No contest really
As always, so good to get a laugh from you. Love the squirt gun!
loved that pink gun chick with the hair weird dog! that picture had me rolling!
Pee & Poo toys??? OMG! WHO would buy those...and WHY? I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it.
Thanks for the laughs...again. :D
happy planting girl! I wish I could start today!! the snow has stopped falling and melted...now we are having a thunderstorm...and Saturday we plant!!!
thank goodness....my body can't take much more of the hauling in and out ALL of the greenhouse plants! Crap am I old, out of shape and tired!
The weeding never ends, does it?
I loved these pictures. I'll have to remember to get the real crack for my chicken too. It might improve it. The trigger and plug placement is pretty funny. And I am with you, I would want a pass on that road. The only one my feeble brain didn't understand is the picture where you commented "I wish I could stop laughing at this". I am missing something I think.
Have a great weekend.
Ginger
I wish you could help me with my weeding!
And OMG Shaw's will stop at nothing to keep their customers coming back!
Peace - Rene
I think I puke alittle in my mouth looking at the guy by the pop machine. Ekk!!
As usual, you've made my day! The crack chicken is just hysterical. Perhaps Sara Lee should hire a proofreader? Just a thought. And I love the roundabout sign, they really should say that you know. Thanks for all the giggles. Kathy
(BTW, if I'm not mistaken that's a Scottish Deerhound in the tub - would someone please call Child Protective Services and the ASPCA quick!)
Is she the famed Purple People Eater they sing about? Yikes!
Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
You and your fur could totally take Kristina and her Snuggy! LOL!
No offense Kris, I'm just sayin.
I hope you won't be gone tooo long. I'll miss your warped sense of humor. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for your return. :)
Please don't let there be a diarrhea version of that toy ;-) and the other means of payment? what a hoot!
I always try to find my favorite, but they all make me laugh.
I don't know which is scary, the woman in the big purple onesie or Barney the purple dinosaur...maybe they're related! (It's funny that you mention bodily functions because I talk about it in my post today!)
I think this has been my favorite set of pictures. I laughed at each one more and more as they went! The lady and the baby with the gun and the sheep/dog/alien is a whole lotta "HUH?" And the pee and poo? I so need a set of those...I think they would make great "end-of-year" gifts for my 5th graders.
Damn, I laugh a lot when I come and visit you, Nikki my little crumpet :)
Hi Nikkiness! Here you are up to your old funniness! Where do you ever get these pictures!
Be a sweetie,
Shelia :)
Geez woman, you've only been posting once a week. How much more scarce can you GET?
Do they really pack plush pee and poos? That's just too much. Even *I* wouldn't want one of those. Okay, well, maybe the poo one.
And that hairy purple thing? You put yourself in one of those and you can count me out as a friend. LOL
Justine :o )
Yay! I Wish Wed/Thurs are back!
I love the poster of the guy saving the other guy, only to throw him out of the ring anyway. Sort of like the last minute rescue efforts to revive a prisoner that attempted to commit suicide so that you they put him in the electric chair!
OMG Nikki...we have the same sense of humor~
Have fun weeding and planting. I'm thinking of just letting my weeds take over this year. At least they have little flowers on them for the time being!
We'll miss you~
♥,LIlly
Go forth and tame those weeds!
And I want a purple suit, too. My husband might think I'm HOT in it!
When your weeds are the size of trees, we'll talk!
I so needed a laugh tonight. Couldn't think of a better place to get one. I've been out in the jungle (I mean yard) for weeks too. Who said this was fun?
Carol
I always love your Wedursday lists. So funny!
Go make a pretty garden, take a picture and show off!
How do you manage to always outdo yourself with these Wednesday posts?! I think that thing in the tub is an overgrown rat.
I did my weeding today, it's called Roundup! LOL
Nikki,
Your such a hoot! I can't stop laughing about that furry creature in the tub and the gal in the purple suit! I'll be a weeding this week-end too, how fun, not. Cindy
I wish I wasn't eating a a dairy queen butterfinger blizzard while I was reading this post....especially when I read your comment on the 'toilet candy'....can butterfingers come out your nose?
bluh.....yes they can...lol.
Have fun in yard....it's amazing and I can't wait to see so please hurry! :)
Hugs~ J
Hey Nikki! I knit one of those purple suits for my niece when she was a baby. I never thought of knitting one for myself - The road signs are very familiar to me I've been driving around with Jacob for the past few weeks and that's exactly how i feel. Actually, he is a very good driver. My garden is pathetic- we have three very large rabbits devouring the place. ~ Robyn
lol..i love these!!
I've been wondering how many fellow bloggers we would lose to the garden and sunny weather. I just might be one of them! Enjoy the sun!
Do the words "NUT-CRACKER" mean anything to you????
I swear you are cracked...but glory be, that you are because if you were sane you'd be as boring as me!!! LOL...you are a joy!!!
;-) Bo
Turkey made with crack.......don't they know those folks don't eat. :)
weeds take all the fun out of life.
the hairy thing in the tub made me laugh.
Ummm, if there is any chance I would turn into whatever that is I will never, never, never try Coke.
Now I know why my son in law is so weird.
I wish I had more time to blog because I sure missed you ...now back for more and going to check out your friends! Debra
I wrote about you, I admire you so much. xoxo
I can't leave a comment. I ate the Crack and then the hairy thing ate me.
You have made my day! I feel slightly dumb sitting here killing myself laughing...Cause I'm the only one here... I may have to go back and read again! You are so funny! Thankyou for the laugh!
I wish....every day was Wednesday so I could laugh a lot more. I absolutely love these posts. Due to the time difference (I'm in Germany) I don't get to see them until Thursday, but it makes for a laughter filled morning. Thanks so much and I hope the weeds don't conquer you. If they do though, maybe you could call in the guy in the...zebra...thingy.
Okay, I don't know if it's me or this specific post, but I'm losing it. Just about peed my pants. OMG I don't know where you find this stuff, but they crack me up.
Seriously cute, and a little weird, post!! I don't know where you found all that cool stuff!!
What the heck....that lady in the tub???...AND I notice she has a gun...and is wearing sweats with a peace sign?? If that is not sending mixed signals!!!
....my OBGYN Dr. has these funny stuffed toys that look like Chlamydia, Gonorrhea & Herpes...I'm sure someone gave them to him as a gag gift...he's a crack-up like that it's a pretty intertaining office....
here check the funny site out:
http://shop.neatorama.com/store.php?science-toys-pg1-cid76.html
Hahaha....I REALLY can spell..."entertaining" is what i meant to type!
You know if you're in that jungle too long that we'll come looking for you, maybe even in a furry suit or with that furry whatever it is from the bathtub, LOL!!!
Ok that is the biggest hairball I have ever seen!!!
And doesn't crack chicken sound good to smoke for Memorial day, LOL!!
Nikki! How are you! I see you are still funny as ever. I really miss you and your posts.
xoxoxoxo
Donna Marie
PS Have a great Holiday Weekend.
HAHAHAHA always just the funniest!!! Have fun weeding and getting your garden area in shape. You know we want to see it!!
Say it with me: Weeds. Suck.
Miss you, mama! See you soon!
This is just too damn funny!
More giggling at work on my part.
I do confess that I love Diet Dr. Pepper. ;-)
Awesome awesome awesome!!! Good Lord where do you find all this stuff???
Have fun in your garden!!!
I wish for you and your family to have a great Memorial weekend my friend...Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria
This is why I drink Diet Coke...well try not to drink Diet Coke. And your boys could totally kick the butt of that hairy thing in the bathtub, whatever it is!
Loved this weeks post, except for the creep in fake zebra fur. He was just yucky!
I think you need to mass market those purple suits, that is hilarious. Have fun weeding, I am doing the same. We can suffer together!
Where can I go to buy one of those sexy purple attire. Where is a photo of YOU in it???
I too have lots of gardening that needs to get done.
work, work work, it never ends.
you photos are just to dang funny
Have fun weeding. We all love you!
Hope you have a super weekend!
♥ HUGS ♥
At least be back by next Wednesday!!! I need my fix:)
u kill me! I have missed your WEDNESDAYS!!!!!!!!
Kyley
What the heck is that in the tub and why is that woman holding a pink rifle??? nuts!!!!!!!!!
That is why I drink COKE!
Oh my gosh...thanks again for a great laugh.
Cathleen
You Yankee girls are so cute - just now getting out to plant. Everything is already turning brown down here - gotta love Texas heat!!
And the bathtub pict, yeah, notice the peace sign on her pants, slightly hidden behind the rifle. Excellent.
Enjoy the garden!!! Em
Oh how I wish my garden would weed itself! As always, thanks for the laughs. That photo in the tub is crazy! I don't think there is a logical explanation. laurie
Have a wonderful holiday week-end Nikki
xo Kathy :)
Hi Nikki, a quick hello from Kansas City, MO. Thank you for you sweet comment about meeting some blogging friends. We did have so much laughter and fun together.
As always I laughed through your post today. I don't know when I will have service after we leave here. So visiting will be iffy. Anyway I am glad to comment today.
I scrolled down to your post before this and I am so glad I did. Lilly is a gem and her gifts so darned wonderful, I would be blubbering too. The bracelet was so thoughtful, it was all good.
The mother's day surprise was also fun and wonderful for you. Loved the beach photos.
We are off to my great nephew's ball game and then to my niece's home for a cookout. We seldom see our family here so this is a lessing.
Have fun weeding the garden. LOL. What a hard job, but worth it in the end.
Hugs and goodbye for now...Jeanne
PS. If this was quick I am in serious commenting trouble!!!!! Jeanne LOL.
Oops...Blessing
Thinking that the purple hairy thang might look super on you!
I'm sure that you can pull that off... :)
Now for MY wish list:
I wish I could live YOUR life for a while. I wish I had YOUR readers. I wish I had YOUR friends, and I wish all the best for you......I'm not envious....just wishing.
Hi Nikki!! I finally slapped all of my little annuals in the ground right before Jeanne arrived! I'm not a big gardener, but I feel compelled to give it a shot each spring!
I LOVED the tub photo. Looks like that chick is ready for a Pink Sat. gig!
My heart did a little flip when I saw you had dined at Tavern on the Green!! I've just been there once--in the Crystal Room. What a treat that was. How wonderful that you saw Chicago, too! Gads, what a great Mom's Day!!!
Have a safe and peaceful Memorial Day, L, Dana
I really enjoy your Wednesday posts--you've even done the impossible: my husband checks your blog on Wednesday! LOVE IT!
The purple costume makes me think of 3rd grade when my mom forced this horribly homemade dog costume on me (think along the lines of Ralphie's bunny costume in A Christmas Story) for Halloween. It was white with brown patches all over. And when I reluctantly put it on and showed it off in our school parade, one of the parents thought I was a cow. I was mortified. I still haven't forgiven my mother. I should probably invest in a good therapist. And send my mother the bill.
Hilarious as usual! As for the claim that Dr. Pepper still tastes better than pee - how do they know?
Hang on! Don't answer that...
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE these!!!!! I had to show my hubby ALL your "I wish Wenesdays" and we were laughing, crying, and freaking out...it was great!
Totally hilarious about the Kristina and you show down! I'd love to buy front row tickets! Got a laugh out of the road sign without a pass. ewww. Happy gardening! You'll be missed. But I know how it goes. My yard is much smaller than yours in comparison and I still haven't gotten all of mine done.
I laughed so hard at the Roundabout sign...yet another reason I never got my English driver's license during all the years I lived over there with the hubby. Well that and driving on the wrong side of the road on the wrong side of all the car seriously messed with my equilibrium!
Yet another funny IWW which I'm days late for...but it's like eating dessert..saving the best for last, or was that delayed gratification? Something like that.
mmm toilet candy.
And it isn't it a bit late in the season for the purple hairy suit?
There's gonna be one fierce matted hair clog left in that (tub) drain. I guess that's what the long pink gun barrel is for...a little plunging!
Nappa Valley called to reclaim their grapes from that purple people eater suit! Only after your showdown with Kristina and her snugly companion.
I'll warn you though she may pull out the stops, by not bathing it for a week. The smell alone may wipe you out before contact.
Sweet wishes,
Sara
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